I have a son from a previous relationship. He is 8 years old and lives with his mother. I am now married and have two other kids, and he is with us regularly about 20% of his time. I have shared custody.
He recently mentioned he has been visiting Sunday prayers with his mom and her new boyfriend for several months in that new "church" they attend. I inquired some more and found out that the group in particular is an evangelical group. I have some experience with this group because part of my extended family belonged/still belongs to the same group.
I consider myself on the very atheist end of the spiritual spectrum, while his mother has been a moderate catholic, like most people in our environment. I have been raised moderately catholic but left as soon as I was an adult.
I recently attended a wedding ceremony of that very group, and the sermon included a stab against "people who don't believe in anything", who they apparently loathe. I felt directly addressed. I also know of some people from that group who have cut ties with close family members that didn't want to join their circle.
So this creates a bit of a tension field and I am worried he might be slowly drawn away from me.
His mother hasn't mentioned anything yet; she and I are not on the greatest of terms, and our relationship has slightly degraded lately. I suspect this also has to do with her new religious orientation.
How do I approach this topic with his mother? I do not wish to interfere with her spirituality, but when it comes to my son being taught that people like his dad are ill-guided poor souls, that is not something I take lightly either. Am I wrong to think she was supposed to tell me when she introduced him to that group?
And also, how do I talk to my son about this? I always encouraged him not to believe what others tell him to believe, but to find out what it is that works for him. I would never tell him that his mother's actions might be bad for him, but I do sense some cult-like tendencies in this group that I would like to protect him from without rising fear in him.