My boyfriend has a 6-year-old boy for whom he has primary custody over. He visits his mother for the summer, some holidays, talks to her via Skype and on the phone. He seems to have a very loving and great connection with her.
He just came back a few weeks ago and started first grade. So far it has been awful. He's had maybe one decent day out of a few weeks. He screams at the teacher, tells her no, doesn't do his work, runs away, hides, hits/pushes/pulls other kids' hair, poops his pants, etc. He has problems every single day of school.
Today, his teacher brought him out with no shoes and no backpack, because he threw his shoes and his backpack across the hall and she is over his behavior, so she just brought him out to us. She was obviously in distress, tears almost running down her face. I can tell that he is draining her, because she cannot do her job because of him.
As for his behavior at home, we have no problems for the most part. He has told his father "no" a few times and has accidents very rarely. For his punishment from his behavior at school, he has had his toys taken away, electronics taken away, movies taken away, he has gotten spanked on the butt, he has been told to calm down... we have done everything from going easy on him to being very stern. We are truly at a loss.
He has seen a therapist at his previous school in kindergarten and had seen a specialist. He also went to a camp while he was at his moms and had the same problems. He's said "I wish I was never born", "I hate myself" and other things to that affect. He has also threatened to stab other kids. We fear for his safety, for our safety, and the safety of others.