I am a new parent; my first baby is 10 days old. There is something that stuck in my head from the first days that I would like to have your advises about my baby:

  • He did not cry when he was born; the doctors had to stimulate him to make him cry.
  • He does not cry often, when he does, he yells quite loud but no tear (I have not seen once.)
  • He sleeps a lot, sometimes until 5 hours; he fells sleep often on the mama, we need to stimulate him to keep him awake.
  • He is not very animated, I sometimes find him spacing out...

I understand that he is only 10 days old and may change a lot in the first month but the fact that a son of my older sister has an autism make me really worry.

Please excuse me for my English.

Thank you!

  • I would take him to be seen by a doctor. It's hard to tell what is normal unless in person. No tears isn't really any worry this young. That is typical at this age (tears start usually 1-3 months old). I was instructed to feed my babies at least every 3 hours the 1st month and not allow a 5 hour stretch. This is why seeing your baby's doctor is a good idea. They also can get to know your baby and track development. We cannot give any medical diagnosis or advice here.
    – threetimes
    Aug 21 '17 at 19:24
  • I strongly recommend against getting medical advice from strangers on the Internet. If you have a medical concern, see a local professional if any possible: doctor, nurse, local health clinic, public health care office, midwife, etc.
    – Hilmar
    Aug 21 '17 at 19:56
  • 1
    It is difficult but possible to diagnose Autism Spectrum Disorder in a 12 month old; it is literally impossible to do so in a 10 day old. Please talk to your doctor or nurse about the range of behaviors possible in normal infants. Aug 21 '17 at 22:02
  • Thank you, he does have monthly check by a doctor and I will definitely ask by then. Aug 22 '17 at 7:24

Please understand that every baby is different; your friend who just had a baby that screams constantly, 20 hours a day will be sitting there tearing her hair out and wishing he would just give her a break. There's absolutely no rulebook that says your baby should be exactly like hers, like every baby you saw in the movies, or like any baby you read about on the internet

  • Generally, newborn babies do sleep a lot!
  • Babies only really cry when there is something making them unhappy. At this age this is really only a small selection of things: hunger, temperature, tiredness, discomfort from clothing or internal pain. The absence of tears is normal
  • Don't stimulate him to keep him awake constantly. He isn't supposed to have as much wake-time as an adult; he might sleep for 20 hours in every 24 because he needs to, and you're not doing yourself or him any favours by irritating him awake. Babies have NO ROUTINE at all when born, no concept of day and night, nothing runs to schedule. You typically have to wait around 3 months for patterns of behaviour and sleep schedules to emerge.
  • He's not supposed to be animated; right now he knows nothing and everything is new to him. Everything in your room, your life, out your window that you take for granted, he has never seen, heard or smelled before. There's so much to look at and take in, that he can occupy nearly all his thinking time for hours with a slow moving black and white pattern. My child looks at the oven for half an hour sometimes; I've absolutely no idea what he's doing or thinking, but he seems to enjoy it

It sounds like you have a set of expectations as to what your baby should be doing; you might just have to throw all those away. No baby has ever popped out and started tap dancing. I have several friends with normal, happy, well adjusted and intelligent babies who would sit near motionless, staring across the room for long periods even as late as 3 months. It's not necessarily a sign that there's something wrong; you just have some way to go on your journey of learning about your baby and him about you (and the world)

If you have serious concerns about his health, speak to your local health care provider or its ancillary support services; as others have commented, no one on the internet can read a few words and give advice targeted to your situation. To purport to be able to do so is highly irresponsible.

Your healthcare provider should have already done a set of tests on your baby soon after he was born, hearing, sight, limb movement, hydration, blood oxygen, response to basic stimulus (the 'falling out of a tree' test) etc and they'll have told you if something was wrong. If your child was born into any kind of situation where these tests were not carried out, you should look to get them done. You mentioned doctors, so I'm sure the correct medical supervision was present during and shortly after birth

In general terms of looking after a 10 day old baby, your little one just needs feeding, keeping warm and being cuddled so he can develop a bond with his parents and feel safe and cared for. He can tap dance later; but go easy on it, and don't get into baby comparison competitions with other mums!

  • Thanks @Carius, your answered reassured me. He did have some medical tests after he was born and I will ask about this next time we see the doctor within three weeks. Lacking of experience was a little freaking me but it looks like we have just to feed and cuddle him at the moment. Aug 22 '17 at 7:28

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