Grandparents arranged to visit their sons family in order to provide baby sitting services for the weekend while the parents made home renovations. Two days before the weekend, it was agreed that the Grandparents would travel up on the Friday, picking up their grandson from a sports club before they arrived. The parents then made a financial outlay based on their availability on the Saturday morning.

On the Friday, it became apparent that the grandson was too tired to attend the sports club, so the grandparents were told that they would not be picking up their grandson on their way up, and also asked not to arrive before a certain time (15 minutes later than they would have otherwise arrived.) so as not to interfere with the bedtime routine.

The grandparents decided that given this change of arrangements, they no longer wanted to travel down on the Friday, and would arrive late morning the following day. The parents impressed upon them that they had spent money on equipment for the following morning, and that that money would be lost if they did not come that night.

The Grandparents held firm that they would not now becoming on the Friday, and so the parents informed them that there was now no point in coming at all.

Who, if anyone, has behaved badly?

The parents argue that the grandparents should have apologised for not visiting on the Friday, especially considering the financial cost incurred.

The Grandparents argue that when the plan was changed, all the plans for the weekend were invalidated. Consequently, they were not compelled to agree to the new arrangements, and therefore, no apology was due.

  • 2
    I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because this isn't about parenting but about conflict resolution / assigning blame between adults.
    – Becuzz
    Commented Aug 15, 2017 at 12:21
  • There is an interpersonal skills site on SE; I don't know if this is on topic there. But I agree that this is asking for a referee in a fight. Asked differently, it might be on topic, but it would need to be completely reframed, and wouldn't give you the answer you want. Commented Aug 15, 2017 at 13:36

1 Answer 1


All of them. All of them are being inflexible. So what if bed time routine is not executed on time. Basically the parents told the grandparents, who are doing them a favor, that their routine was more important. And the grandparents are hitting back by coming very late on the following day. All of them are being childish. Next time, pay a sitter service and solve the issue.

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