My dad has always been a "mad person". Recently I was talking with my mom and she said a large reason she divorced with him was because he was always mad.
Now, the following is a onetime example but similar things keep happening and I don't know how to get it to stop. Also, some details I consider irrelevant, but others may not so I'll try to give as much info as possible.
My dad had offered to do me a favor and give me a ride somewhere. We met at his place. While at his place I had some work related notes I had to read. Now, I thought it was pretty obvious I needed to focus but he kept talking to me and distracting me and I snapped "be quiet!" (I may have said it in a loud voice but I didn't yell at him). He started yelling his head off at me for the next 15 minutes. He was saying things like "I'm allowed to speak! This is my house and I make the rules!" He also acts threatening when he's yelling and is very animated.
One thing I don't get is what my dad want? At my job I deal with lots of angry people, but they're angry because they're not getting something they want. I realize it was rude for me to say be quiet, but him yelling for a long time is ridiculous. In fact, I'm sure if he conducts himself at work the same way he would get fired (and to my knowledge he has never been fired).
I don't know what to do about it. At work if a colleague yells at me I would wait for them to calm down and tell them yelling doesn't help the problem. If a stranger yelled at me I'd ignore them. If a friend yelled at me, we wouldn't be friends if it happened as frequently as it does with my dad.
He seems to always do this when he has an advantage over me, like how he offered to give me a ride and I was already at his place. I keep forgetting not to trust him. I made my self a note on Google Calendar not to trust my dad with help and I have it set to remind me each day, but this kind of gives me a bad gut feeling.
I admit he's good at manipulating me. For example his text message said "I have lunch for you here. How about I come pick you up in 10 minutes?"
Also, I've considered it might be a mental illness on his part. But I sometimes don't see what difference this makes. I used to work for a company where someone got away with breaking all the rules and being a jerk because he was diagnosed with alcoholism. In the same way, if my dad has anger management I can't just decide not to be bothered by him yelling at me.
EDIT: he also gets mad and yells at other people (including strangers and family) but he seems to do it the most to me.