I am a 22 year old male and I have a younger brother 20 years old. I come from a patriarchal family in which my mother has always been a house wife. Though we have been a happy family until my father died unexpectedly in a helicopter crash. He was a helicopter pilot.
Over the past four years since the death of my father both of us have become smokers, have become daily smokers of pot and can't control ourselves whenever we drink alcohol. Though I have somehow managed to earn an engineering degree with a decent gpa and have been working in IT ever since I graduated last year. By brother on the other hand has somehow managed to graduate from high school ( my father died when he was in his final year of school and when I was in my second year of university), repeated the same year of university twice and eventually dropped out after 2 years citing that the course wasn't good enough. He stays at home with my mother and has been known to misbehave at home and break things.
He has tried to hold a job but one day stopped going for it and never bothered to collect his pay. He fights with my mother for money. Doesn't leave the house but sneaks out after midnight. Gets high at most times. Hangs out with people only if they have weed. I'm really worried about him. Since, I've stopped smoking weed and drinking alcohol.
He is also known to not leave the house for days, not brushing his teeth or taking a shower for days. His room stinks really bad and mostly keeps himself locked. He has no motivation and at every opportunity that might bring a change in him, he rejects it.
After a long time all three of us decided to go to Australia for a long vacation. I've got an approved leave from my employer and all arrangements have been made. Now he doesn't want to go. It's like he doesn't want to change. He refused to see a counsellor after seeing one for over six months. He refused to take treatment to get over his addictions. He's been bothering everyone and now no one likes him at all.
I feel he's really depressed but with all his friends doing so well in life, I feel worried about him. How can I get him to do something and not be in his room the whole day? He feels he's better than everything.