How to explain that I don't got to church to my little cousin

Question

First of all, I'm sorry if this is not directly a parenting question as I don't have children (yet) and it's about my little cousin. Please lead me in the right direction if you see the topic doesn't fit.

A little background:

I am a 26 year old male with a lot of female cousins (7) and only two male cousins. The older one being about ten years older than me and the younger one being just over five years old.

They are all from the maternal side of my family which is, with a few minor exceptions, very Christian. They go to church at least once a week and pray before eating and going to sleep. I was raised Christian myself by my mother, but around the age of 18 found out that I could't identify with the "worldly" rituals like going to church, communion etc... I didn't lose all my faith but am happy to be left alone with it. I am also happy to have had such a good ethical education when I was younger and still share most of the Christian values. However I am no longer going to church service for a couple of years now. We share very good relationships in my family so this is not a problem.

Now to the question:

My little cousin is brought up in a very Christian way, which I find is not a bad thing in general. But I can imagine that I may even be or become a little role model for him, since we share a similar character and there are only girl cousins or an even older male cousin left in the family. So what I want to avoid, is to be a bad influence and also maybe spare my uncle and aunt some annoying arguing why he doesn't want to go to church on some sunday morning ("But my cousin doesn't have to go to church too!").

I want to give him the chance to be happy with going to church and maybe when he's old enough, he might reach out to me to get a different perspective.

So, if he asks "Hey, why don't you go to church like all my other cousins, uncles and aunts?" I want to be prepared to give him a good answer.

Answer 1

I would just be honest. Some people (like my mother) go daily. Some go twice a week, some weekly, some less frequently & some never. What matters is that you do what helps you find peace & follow the path that takes you there & that won't look the same for every single person.

Then, when it is children, I redirect the conversation onto something less fraught with potentially annoying my relatives by getting into anything deeper. If the child is persistent, then simply tell them you really have nothing more to offer on the matter & if they wish to discuss how different people practice their faith it's likely a conversation they should have more in depth with their parents.

I will not totally avoid responding to a child's questions, but I am also careful to answer minimally while being as honest as I can. I also do not mean on religion or church specifically, but in general about any issue which parents may prefer to educate their own children. If I am not expressly sure of the parents feelings about me answering such things, I keep it short & simple & then redirect it to another topic & when that doesn't work I revert back to honesty. In that case honesty becomes, I think you should likely continue this conversation with your parents & have them give you as much detail as they like on the subject.