I've been married for 12 years and have a daughter, 7 1/2 years old, and a son, 3 1/2 years old.
My wife is a very controlling and passive aggressive person (though I hesitate to use the term, the easiest shortcut for describing her behaviour is to say that she has many narcissistic traits). Some months ago, my eyes finally opened to the fact that the 'problem' in our marriage is that she has been emotionally and verbally abusive for at least the last two years and in many ways for much longer. Her favoured tactics for domination are passive aggressive - the silent treatment, accompanied by swearing under her breath and facial expressions of intense disgust and contempt; withholding affection and conversation; breaking commitments and promises; and gaslighting. The silent treatment continues for a few weeks to a few months at a time. She does occasionally become physically violent but that is rare.
One of the primary reasons I have not left this marriage is to provide my children with an alternative way of being. My wife has several times threatened to cut off the children from me, and that is a real fear if I do get a divorce (I live in India, where courts are not very strong on fathers' rights of visitation).
I give all this background not to ask for advice on this situation, but to ask for any stories, examples or books I can give my children that will help prepare them for similar tactics being used against them.
My wife is not an evil person, and has as yet mostly refrained from using these tactics on the children. But I can see that she is beginning to use them, and I anticipate she will do that much more as the children get older and begin to challenge her authority. They are both empathetic and sensitive children and the thought of them being treated this way - and the likely consequences for their emotional health - terrifies me. So I would like to help them, in whatever small way, be aware of these behaviours and that they are not responsible for them.
I have used some small lessons already (for instance, emphasising to them that other people's anger is not always their fault, they are only responsible for their own actions, showing how much I cherish them whatever they do, etc.) but stories, books or examples of people dealing with passive aggression would be really, really great. If they exist :).