I have two sons, the eldest is 6 as this question is about him.
I am separated from his mother, she has a new boyfriend and is pregnant. My son lives with her during the week and I get him 3/4 weekends. He gets very upset when I have to return him after the weekends with me and begs to let him live with me.
There are many problems with the current situation but this weekend I picked him up as usual and he told me that his mother's boyfriend had said a bad word to him, he had shouted at him to 'get in your f*#king chair' and had punished him twice. He had carried him to his bedroom, shut him in there and held the door closed so he couldn't get out. He has also carried him out to his car, put him in the car and threatened to take him to the police.
My son was upset at being sworn at and said it had frightened him and that he was also scared about being taken to the police. He also said he hurt his hand banging on the door trying to get out of his room.
I'm 100% certain that he is telling the truth. I can tell when he is lying and his mother's response when questioned about it confirmed it to me.
This is completely unacceptable that his mother is letting her boyfriend swear at him and punish him. It is simply not his place to do that and I would never let my girlfriend get involved in parenting matters, especially discipline.
Not only that, I feel the punishments themselves were inappropriate and that chastisement needs to come from a place of love and her boyfriend certainly doesn't love my son and that this is simply bullying and is seen as bullying by my son.
I do not want to return him to his mother's care until she acknowledges that what has happened isn't appropriate or acceptable and guarantees that it will not happen again.
Am I being unreasonable or over reacting?