Hope this is the right place to ask this question because it's upside down: I'm the child and don't know how to help my parents, so I need an advice.
My parents have always had a lots of arguments since I have memory. They have really different kinds of personality and hobbys so they don't do a lot of activities together. I can remeber a lots of arguments where my mom ended telling me "I don't leave your father because I want you and your brother to grow up with a family". I have always believed this to be true. The situation between them has never really improved but I'm not sure how things have been lately. At 19 I started university and since then I've not been frequently at home, and after I moved with my girlfriend. Since more than a year I came back to my parent's house (love is gone...) but in a different flat with my brother, where I still live even if it's temporary. I don't spend a lot of time with them because I don't have much time: work, friends, my actual girlfriend who works abroad and our project to move together... A lots of stuffs absorb all my time.
This morning my mother came to me crying and saying she can't really stay with my father anymore. I know (because she told me) there was a lots of family related reasons to "not break the family" even in recent past. Her mom was sick, my brother had personal problems... But now all these are gone and she has already started a new life. She stopped staying always at home and she is now involved in community related activities with new friends. She seems happy. She says yesterday she was arguing again with my father and she is scared because he doesn't accept the fact she wants to break up and he seems to be somehow violet. Not physically(until now) but she is scared. I remember in my childhood my father being excessively aggressive with my mother during some arguments. I think he has never really beaten her but sometime he has been verbally rude, screaming and advancing at her so that she had to step back. And a couple of time she came to my bedroom crying because she said she was "scared as hell" by my father during an argue.
What can I do? I really think my father is way too aggressive, but probably he has never really beaten my mother (can't be sure, she wouldn't tell me) and would never really do it. I believe my father is just a bit desperate in this situation because he has not a lots of friends, he's not (at all) an open-minded person and he doesn't want to be left alone and/or somehow forced to change his life. I really hope to provide them help so that things can resolve without external intervention, also because my brother (despite older than me) is really attached to my parents and a "hostile/legally" separation will strongly impact him. But what can I do to really help them? Should I prioritize my mother fears even if I think they are a bit exaggerate? Should I talk to my father even if I don't think he will listen to me because he's too stubborn?