I am a single dad with a 7-year-old daughter. Her mum disappeared when she was 2. She had borderline personality disorder. My daughter has some behaviour in common with BPD such as 'black and white' thinking. She struggles to see graduations between friendly and hostile behaviour.
She is very melodramatic and righteous when dealing with minor bullying and rough play by other children, which then leads to the other children bullying her more because they know they will get a strong reaction from her. She does a martial arts class which she enjoys very much, but she panics when another child is being aggressive and forgets all her self defence skills.
I have tried explaining the importance of being calmly assertive, which she seems to understand. But as soon as there is any kind of stress for her, she defaults to screaming and shouting. I'm not sure if I should intervene more so that she can learn from how I talk to the other children, then gradually let her take over.
How to coach her out of this pattern of behaviour?