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I'm 25 and had a letter on my bed that I was reading from the morning. Mum has come in to talk to me, then I go to the toilet. When I come out of the toilet, she then asks me a question about a financial matter on the letter. I responded fairly sharply "what are you doing reading my letters for?"

She seems angry now, but a bit confused as to next steps etc? How should I approach this?

EDIT: Caught her doing this before and said that it would be ideal for her not to do it and she apologised, if that helps with context regarding my reaction.


1 Answer 1


You are 25 and living at home. I don't know how dependent you are on your parents.

If you pay rent, pay for your share of food, and contribute like a roommate would: Put a lock on your door and put your stuff away. Invite your mum in when you want her there, but otherwise do not leave private stuff around and share only what you choose to share.

If you let your mum do your laundry, clean your room and make your meals and do not contribute to the running out the household: Then try putting your stuff away and not inviting her into your room.

Consider that at her age (I assume she's at least in her 40s), you are not going to change her. (She can change herself, though.) You can appeal to her by talking it out and explaining what a betrayal of privacy it was and how hurt you are.

It is hard for parents to let go of their kids -- especially when they are living at home. If you want to be treated like an adult, then act like one by insisting on respect (and doing all your own chores and so on).

  • 1
    Oh yeah, I do all my own stuff and pay rent etc, I think I'll talk to her about it, maybe out a lock on the door in the future. Thanks for the advice :) May 18, 2017 at 19:55

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