My mother used to taunt me for not being a good student and my stutter, maybe that was her way of taking our her frustration, in my senior secondary school she took it so far that I had to think about how to commit suicide or run away from the house to get her out of my life, but I was able to do neither. Right from that time, I stopped talking to her and eating anything she cooked and for this she created a scene and got my grandfather involved to let me talk to her again. I don't like her from that time. She is a sweet lady and behaves well with everyone but somehow manages to piss/scare/frustrate me.
I stayed with my family during my engineering for 4 years but always maintained distance from mother as I know what she can do and she will never change herself but put all her energy/efforts to tell me how much of a loser I am and how I need to change. My being gullible/nice/weak makes it much easier for her.
Now I'm working in another city and want myself and her to be happy in their own cities but she wants to come to stay with me for some days/weeks, I can't take it. I am doing quite well with my job and transfer her money enough to pay bills and live a luxurious life. If she comes and messes my brain again my new job will get affected.
Somehow my father is also not that big fan of my mother. I appreciate my father, when I was going though a bad time he told me that I should just do my best and not worry much about the result since everything is not in our hands. Whereas my mother would be ready to sacrifice my happiness/health/maybe life for money/success. She proved the same again when I was working for a company last year and was frustrated with the same, her advice was that I should keep working there.
I don't mind the past and can manage with the same but can't bear her with me in my house now or in future. At least I need my father to be around to balance out the negativity she spreads, but my father is not coming to my place with her. She may behave well with me for now but if I somehow go though bad time again in life, she will increase my trouble exponentially and maybe I'm much stronger now to do what I was not able to do earlier. Other than this I don't like and can't take it if she is the only person around me.
I'm thinking about switching off my phone when she is here so she stays at my Aunt's place instead of my place, moving to a friend's place for a couple of days and tell her that I can't come home because of work at the office. Can there be any better solution for the same.