I'm going to give a quick history on this to support my question. When my daughter was 12, her & I moved to my hometown, where we already had friends and family that we are very close with. After moving she joined 4H, track & band (her grades weren't the greatest) and really started coming out of her shell.
A couple new students started at her school, 1 of them a grade above her. After hanging out with these friends she started to copy their style (colored hair, music, ripped shorts/jeans & whatnot). I had a "unique" style & friends in school as well so I had no issues with that. But she then decided that she was bi-sexual after awhile.
After these changes she started having issues getting along with other girls at school, started developing anxiety issues, then started having issues getting along with these friends, 1 of which started cyber bullying her(on top of the general teenage girl drama). As sad as it is to say, it seemed like it was a trend in this group of girls & boys to cut yourself and post attention grabbing things on facebook, they ALL did it. Things were going so horrible for her that I wanted to get her out of that town, and away from these kids, so we moved back & she returned to her previous school. Since we've been here her grades have improved tremendously, she made several friends the first day of school, & the cutting stopped, as well as the depression, she seems very happy & upbeat now which means more to me than anything.
She now is insisting that feels like/would prefer to be a boy. When she's at school it's like she lives a double life. As hard as it was I let her get a very short haircut, she dresses more like a boy now and goes by a boy name at school around her friends. She plans to take testosterone as soon as she's old enough, which is one thing I will not support at 15 years old.
So far what I keep telling her is that this is a big decision and these are changes that you can not fully make until you've grown up, gotten out of school, etc. As a teenager you are gonna spend all 4 years of highschool just trying to figure out who you are, you can't make these kind of life decisions as a teenager. I also tell her that being a teenager & being in highschool is hard enough, making these decisions right now is going to add to the highschool angst. I am fully supportive of her feelings and wishes on this, & she's very open with me, we are very close, but I will not allow her to make any drastic changes to her body. If once she graduates she still feels strongly about this, I will support her all that I can.
I would just like to know if there are any other parents out there that are going through anything similar to this, when you know your child may have a long hard & painful road ahead if they follow this path, how you handle it? What do you say to your child about it? What are your feelings? (Please no disrespectful comments)