My 13-month-old is still sleeping in my bed and still breastfeeding. I have tried everything to wean him off but I am out of options. He finds it more as a comfort thing and refuses to go to sleep without a feed. Then once he is sleeping (usually 40 minutes later), he wakes up straight away if I try and get out of bed.

I know there is nothing wrong with having a child sleep in your bed but I am losing so much sleep because I cant move during the night. He is a very big baby too, so most of the time either my partner or I are falling out of the bed.

He is very healthy and no longer needs my breast milk. And, like I said, I have tried everything. He doesn't like pacifiers, as he never took to them as a infant.

If you have a solution or know someone who does please help me.

  • 2
    What is "everything"? Right now, all we know is that he won't take a pacifier instead of the breast. We need some more information because we're likely to recommend things you've already tried if you don't tell us what you've tried more specifically... or you might discourage people from answering because they will assume that their idea is already included in the "everything" you've tried. Be as specific as you can so we can help you better!
    – Catija
    Mar 22, 2017 at 22:44
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    I feel like he has made me his only comfort to sleep, i dont know how to put that comfort into a blanket or if i should try. I went to my doctor about this and all he said was to put him into the cot and let hi m put him slef to sleep coming back into the room every 60 seconds then streaching the time out. I have tried this and my son did not react very well. He would make himself stop breathing from crying so much. So the tough love didnt work either.
    – Allana
    Mar 22, 2017 at 23:12
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    Pojo-guy i dont want to have to put my son through unnessasery screaming. And i would like to stick to a rutine. I have been dealing with this for 5 months this is why i am seeking advice off other people.
    – Allana
    Mar 23, 2017 at 6:48
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    We had trouble weaning onto a bottle, and actually found that a quick switch from breast to bottle half way through a feed tricked her often enough, and then she learnt she liked the bottle.
    – Tom Bowen
    Mar 23, 2017 at 11:57
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    Thankyou for all of your opinions and advice! I am going to have a good study on " the sleep lady shuffle" and be very consistant. -Wish me luck !!
    – Allana
    Mar 27, 2017 at 0:33

2 Answers 2


try a weighted blanket ? they can feel comforted by them as they feel held

there is some information here mosaic

"These blankets work by providing input to the deep pressure touch receptors throughout the body," Moore says. "Deep pressure touch helps the body relax. Like a firm hug, weighted blankets help us feel secure, grounded, and safe." Source: Psychology Today

  • 1
    I know it is difficult when you do not have enough points to comment. This is really a comment, not an answer. Could you perhaps link to an example of a weighted blanket or tell us about your knowledge or experience with using them? Then the flag for "This answer was flagged as low-quality because of its length and content." , would come off.
    – WRX
    Mar 28, 2017 at 11:48
  • 1
    ok - i understand. I'm at work and can't spend ages researching things. Please remove the low-quality flag ? Mar 29, 2017 at 9:16
  • I am not a mod and have no access to the system, but I think that helped a little. It can be difficult to provide what is necessary when we have life going on. I will see if there is something I can add from the link. I hope you do not mind what I added. Feel free to edit and 'fix' my selection.
    – WRX
    Mar 29, 2017 at 12:59
  • I will add that weight is very comforting in many situations. These weighted blankets are therapeutic for people with challenges -- but also note that adults often like weight on them -- even in summer -- to sleep. It is comforting and it seems to be a penchant for humans. IMO, this is an interesting idea to try as long as the child is mobile. Weighted blankets are not for infants.
    – WRX
    Mar 29, 2017 at 14:08
  • @willow must have been good as someone upvoted me. I dont mind your addition at all Mar 30, 2017 at 14:00

It sounds like you will need to do some form of Sleep Training. However there are many methods out there and it'll have to be down to your views which one you choose.

When most people think about Sleep Training they immediately think leaving their baby to cry for hours. However there are many "No Tears" methods and even controlled crying does not mean you abandon your baby.

I would encourage you to research various sleep training techniques, try ones that sound like they fit your beliefs, and if it doesn't work for you, try another. Nothing works for everyone.

Personally we chose a middle ground in something called "The Sleep Lady Shuffle". You can find a lot of information about it on the internet and there is a book on it called "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West.

  • Overall, fine answer, please do add some reference links though.
    – L.B.
    Mar 23, 2017 at 12:30

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