My wife and I sometimes get offers from her parents or mine to take our family on vacation (examples: a cruise, or summer family camp). We have two kids, 10 and 8.
The issue is that our parents tend to be very opinionated about when and where we go, and what we do, and their feelings are easily hurt if we ask to do something different.
Because of this, we tend to just want to avoid going on vacations with them at all. We don't get a lot of vacation time or have much money, and get more enjoyment out of that time when we have greater choice and flexibility. And to be totally honest, we'd rather family vacations just be the four of us.
We still visit with them often at our house or theirs, which is not problematic. But the vacationing aspect is new to me--neither my wife nor I ever did 3-generation vacations when we were young.
Question: what is the best way to gently say "we're not interested" when offered something like this?