My girl friend called me scared for her life to day after her parent(s) strangled her. She is 19 years old and cannot support her self on her own. Im not sure what she can do or anything I can do to help her.

Any and all advice would be extremely appreciated. Please Help.

  • 22
    you should call the cops
    – DA01
    Sep 16, 2011 at 1:37
  • I absoutly agree, but then I think of what they will do to her after after the police leave.
    – user1617
    Sep 16, 2011 at 1:43
  • 22
    If they threatened her life (and strangling certainly counts), she may want to seriously consider seeking out a domestic violence shelter.
    – user420
    Sep 16, 2011 at 1:50
  • 1
    I have actually called the police because my sister was getting death threats from her boyfriend while she was at my house. She was watching my son while I was in the hospital having my daughter. The police told me that there was nothing they could do because I didn't witness it and she should've called the police herself. So, you will have to convince her to call the police on her parents otherwise, there isn't much they will be able to do if you are the one who calls.
    – jlg
    Sep 16, 2011 at 13:12
  • 7
    @jlg I have been told (by someone who is a trained crisis intervention delegate who has heavy involvement with involuntary commitment and domestic disturbance issues) that barring sufficient cause for arresting someone, there is not much that police can (or will) do to protect a victim of domestic abuse. Someone in that situation is far better getting in touch with a domestic violence resource, as DanBeale mentions below.
    – user420
    Sep 16, 2011 at 17:02

4 Answers 4


An adult who has been assaulted should consider calling the police. If for some reason that is not possible they should consider getting in touch with a local domestic violence helpline.

A young adult who has been assaulted in a house where there are other younger children who are also at risk of violence should strongly consider calling either the police; or the child protection services; or a local domestic violence service.

No person should have to put up with that kind of violence.

  • tbph, "consider" is kinda passive. absolutely must. and pacifism is exactly what the problem is in abusive relationships... the drunkitude (or whatever) of the abuser always comes down to "i'll get better" and the target tends to take them at their word. and passively deal with the down times because of the hope of uptimes. sorry to break it to you targets of the world, but you have to do what you can to take care of yourself.
    – monsto
    Sep 24, 2011 at 14:29
  • 2
    @monsto - it's easy for me to say "must". It's much harder for people in that situation to do it. And who am I to force my opinion on another person, without knowing their life?
    – DanBeale
    Sep 24, 2011 at 14:51
  • either way... the bottom line is that they're in a dangerous situation and need to try to urgently resolve it for themselves.
    – monsto
    Sep 25, 2011 at 15:17

This is an old post but ima post for the benefit of anyone else that may need it...

First to do is leave immediately. go where? neighbor, quik trip, whatever, but get away from the danger. "but what if they follow" can't worry about that. Stimulus, response. Fight or flight, get out.

2nd thing is call the police asafp.

3rd thing if you can stay put, do it. If you're uncertain about the situation there, then go somewhere else.


Have your friend move out! As soon as possible. But that is only the first step, and you have to make sure it works - so prepare before acting:

It sounds like that situation is in fact life-threatening, and that calls for serious action. The first step would be to get out harm's way immediately, and that in itself isn't as easy as just getting up and walking out the door because the parents are likely to "hunt" their daughter outside the home, so a lot of additional steps and external help needs to be tied into this first step.

I am not skilled in handling such situations, but there are shelters and hotlines that can assist. Perhaps it's better to prepare in silence, to research, to talk to services -- and only openly act once you're reasonably sure that the action will save the girl. I could imagine that a "failed attempt" might make the situation a lot worse.

As her friend, you could contact such services and get some anonymous advice. At the very least, it would help you to cope with the burden of "knowing but not being able to act".


Try to look for shelters in your community that caters this problem. Your friend should also be willing to leave her family as soon as possible, and call the police for protection. You can help by giving her recommendations on what to do, your friend will be the one to decide on what she can do to stop the abuse.

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