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I am looking here for some opinions, if you think what I did was OK or not in your country/culture.

We have a baby (4 month old) that has trouble sleeping (very light sleeper). We are trying to put her for a nap three times a day and each nap lasts around 40 min. It takes usually 15-20 min to make her sleep (rocking, lullabies etc.). The baby sleeps on an attached bed.

Scenario:

The baby is sleeping (20 minutes already), the mother is beside the baby, the door is closed, with light background music. The grandma (mother of my wife) needs a bag weight scale and is outside the door and calls the mother. Each call is getting louder cause she doesn't get a response... Now I am downstairs hear her calling and I tell her that the baby is sleeping... (I am sure that the Grandma knew that the baby is sleeping as the lullaby song was on and door closed, but she still insisted on a response)

They tell my wife that I was extremely rude to do that cause I would never tell an older person to ask to be quiet...

Also, it was not like that they needed the scale right now. They were making already bags but only going to the airport in another week...

I think this is totally non-sense and I think that I have the right to say or ask them to be quiet in that case.

What do you think? How is it in your country/culture?

  • I don't know if this has much to do with parenting. – learner101 Jan 25 '17 at 12:27
  • It is affecting our child. She is not getting enough sleep when grandparents are over visiting. So in some way it does have something to do. I would like to know if anyone is in same situation and how they dealt with it. – Martin Jan 25 '17 at 12:32
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    @WillowRex I agree that not everyone needs to be quiet because the baby is sleeping to a certain degree. That's why we close the door and put some background music so the outside noise does not interfere. But in our case the grandma deliberately woke the baby by her actions and I just told her that the baby is doing her nap... – Martin Jan 25 '17 at 15:34
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    @Willow Rex - I'm sure it wasn't intentional, but the tone of your comment is not kind. Remember that cultural differences matter. – anongoodnurse Jan 25 '17 at 15:37
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    @anongoodnurse thanks, it was not meant to be unkind at all. Martin, I am sorry if I sounded unkind to you. I mean that babies can learn to sleep with noise and in my opinion, your Grandmother needs to understand that a closed door means you are asking for privacy. I hope that in a quiet moment, you can discuss that without anger with the other family members. Your music and closed door sound to me like you are on the right track. – WRX Jan 25 '17 at 15:50
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Not knowing the exact details of your exchange from a tone, body language, etc. perspective, I would have asked the grandma how I could of helped her or more likely, I would of just gotten the scale for her so that her immediate need is satisfied. Then if I thought that she felt disrespected at all, I would ask my wife to speak to her about her volume level and the priority of our baby getting enough sleep.

From a macro perspective, it sounds a little funny to have a strategic way to interact with someone for something so simple, but when it comes to our older relatives, I've always taken a "be are respectful as possible" approach.

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