My mom has a puppy dog, who is a lot of fun and I enjoy taking on walks. However, he’s not very well trained and tends to chew things up. On a number of occasions he has taken my shoes and hid them or chewed on them. My mom told me I had to put them on the stairs leading up to my brothers room (my brother still lives with her) out of the dogs reach. On a number of occasions my brother has gotten mad when I leave things on a chair or on the stairs and throws them around the house.
Tonight when I went to visit this happened, and I couldn’t find my shoes. My brother went to his room and closed the door and when I asked if he knew where my shoes were he didn’t reply. I told my mom that I couldn’t find my shoes and needed to leave and she said to go pound on my brothers door.
First thing that bugs me is, whenever the dog has gotten into my stuff or my brother has moved it, my mom laughs and has a very flippant attitude. Second thing is, I don’t know what to do in situations like this? On one hand it is my brother’s fault for moving my belongings without asking me. On the other is that my mom probably should train her dog better so I don’t have to leave my stuff in awkward places. I don’t really want to be caught in the middle.
I eventually found my shoes and my brother had moved them not to far from where they first were but still enough so I had trouble finding them (he basically put them underneath a near by pile of shoes). The first thing my mom said was “so whose fault was it?” I find this question very immature and don’t want to play the blame game.
Also my mom had asked me to take the dog for a walk earlier. I told her I didn’t really have time and she said “just a 5 minute walk”. I agreed but when I wasn’t able to find my shoes I told her if I don’t find them in 2 minutes I won’t be able to take the dog for a walk. Since it took more like 15 minutes to find them, I ended up not taking the dog. My mom said if I’m going to act this way I’m not allowed to come over. While it’s true I was mad for having my stuff hidden, I wasn’t really mad at her and know that I can choose not to walk the dog. I told her to remind me not to come over as we usually don’t get along.
I know it kind of sounds silly as this huge ordeal was over a pair of shoes, but still they cost $200 and I use them in my running group (most of my shoes aren't the expensive). Also the dog (and my brother) has gone after my jacket, which has my cellphone and keys in it, so I see this as a very serious problem.
I find I communicate with my mom best by email so I’m thinking of sending her this.
If I come over could you please ask me to take the dog for a walk in the first 15 minutes of my arrival? Otherwise I might not have time. Also, I can say no for any reason and this needs to be ok.
It’s happened a few times that valuable items of mine such as my shoes have been misplaced or (almost) damaged by the dog or my brother. I can’t afford this. What can be done so this doesn’t happen? Until this gets solved I won’t be coming by your place to visit.
As per my other questions I have a bad relationship with my parents. A few answers suggested not seeing them (as much). I believe there is some natural instinct on a person to want to see their parents, so how can this be dealt with? I feel like I know I shouldn't see my parent's, as it usually ends badly, but I keep forgetting. A friend of mine blocked his parent's phone numbers which I don't think is a good solution.
I forgot to mention I haven't lived with my parent's for 6 years, though I recently moved back to the same city they are in so I'm seeing them more.