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Hi everyone I am new in this field and I have so many questions but I believe the most important for now is how to recover a good sleep pattern for my wife.

Well my daughter is 11 month old chronological and corrected is 9 month. She born premature with just 29 week from then to now has been a really difficults days.

In the last 2 or 3 weeks She wakes up more than 3 times in the night and She try to play with us it doesn't matter that she is almost falling asleep, I called playing in a zoombie mode and she just want to be with her mom and rejects anything from my side.

We are trying with a more strict sleeping rutine (bath, story time, sleep) and at the beginning this work really well but now she is getting this behaviour again.

I Believe this is related to the stimulation that we give to her with different activities, such as swimming, playing in parks among others. But how i can still stimulate her and get a good sleeping time?

Do you have any recommendations?

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    Oh man you won't like this - we had similar sleep issues when our girls were younger. Nothing ever worked. Just a lot of dealing with it until one day, each in their own time, they just normalized a little. Took about 4 years. I still can't sleep through the night though cause I always think someone is getting up again. You might have to prepare your minds for the possibility that it will be a few more years of bad sleep. Only thing we never really tried was letting them cry to sleep. Seemed too mean. In the end we're fine. Just really tired for a really long time.
    – Kai Qing
    Jan 19, 2017 at 0:46
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    Does she feed during the night?
    – Han Soalone
    Jan 19, 2017 at 11:06
  • Does the mother have to be there for feeding? Could there be a bottle feed? Is it possible for both parents to take turns? Is there a relative who could come and allow her to sleep at another time of day -- so that there could be 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep once a day? Could you hire a sitter if there is no relative?
    – WRX
    Jan 19, 2017 at 20:04
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    Your wife might not like this but have you tried sleeping with the baby? Like same bed time and everything. If you are there from laying down and she wakes and knows youre there she might not get so mad. I slept with our girls for over a year. It was not hard transitioning them out of co-sleeping but people will warn you that it is dangerous. It could be if you're a deep sleeper but I was always in panic that I would roll on them so I learned to not move. Queen bed so there was plenty of space. Mattress on floor so no chance of falling off.
    – Kai Qing
    Jan 20, 2017 at 1:19
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    @KaiQing Link Dr Sears on co-sleeping That is a link to one of his answers, but if you google Dr Sears co-sleeping, he is truly an expert in this area. It is something to consider if you are comfortable with the idea.
    – WRX
    Jan 20, 2017 at 15:43

2 Answers 2

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My best suggestion is for your wife to sleep when you get home. As soon as the baby has been fed, she sleeps for as many hours as possible. You need to sleep, too. Perhaps you could make room for the baby and either your wife or you could sleep with her separately until your child is sleeping better. I understand that the baby is showing a preference right now, but if she is safe, clean and fed, then she will just have to accept you. Perhaps weekends you could try to be more helpful and allow your wife some time away from the baby. I know it does not seem fair when you have to work but I promise you, hers is the harder job right now. She is always 'on'. You may not notice your breaks or lunch times, but even a few minutes of 'you' time is a miracle. You have to support each other.

It takes time for routines to be routine. Just look out for each other and you will get through it. Do try to be kind to each other, it will really help both of you.

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We had turns. One was keeping touch with the baby when (s)he woke up at the night. Lets call this parent nightguard. NG would try to tell to the baby: It is night and we are sleeping. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. No talking to the baby beyond that. Stimulation at night keeps baby up.

When it was my time to guard the baby I petted babys back or just held my hand lightly on babys shoulders (our babies usually sleep belly down).

When it was time to feed the baby, nightguard did pick baby up for feeding.

This way I got some sleep every second night, so did my wife.

The real problem is when baby is trying to adjust daily routines and keeps waking up at night. Schedule might be off 1-2 months. When breast feeding ends there will be another set of sleeping trouble.

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  • In North America (and probably many other places), we are taught "back to sleep", which means babies sleep on their backs. The reasoning is that is reduces the danger from sleep related deaths. LINKwith information Please consider reading the link if you still have an infant.
    – WRX
    Jan 20, 2017 at 13:28
  • That is true. We try to keep the baby sleeping sideways or on its back but babies keep turning around.
    – KettuJKL
    Jan 20, 2017 at 13:30
  • Most SIDS baby deaths happen prior to the child rolling over, though. There is no 'cure', only best methods and practises. There are many helpful suggestions on that site.
    – WRX
    Jan 20, 2017 at 13:35

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