It was made known to me that my daughter's classmate is being racist and is bullying her at school. I've asked the principal to meet with the parent. We've met but the parent is also racist. The principal think it's still harmless because the said bully haven't hurt my kid physically. I'm contemplating changing schools. However, I don't want my kid to think that running away from the problem is the solution.
If you have talked with the principal, then:
- Write a letter to the principal mentioning that you talked to him or her but you were not satisfied, and copy the teacher, the School Board and the parent (send that letter through the classroom teacher). Do not lie or exaggerate even a little tiny bit. Ask for a response in writing. Also ask what the policy is and what they are doing to help your child. That way you have a record. The School Board will especially be on alert.
- Give your child the gift of language. She should respond to bullying, especially if there is an audience with something like, "You are trying to bully me. I am not going to accept that. Are you (other students/witnesses) going to allow X to bully us? I do not want to tell on X, but I will if I have no choice."
- Be careful with accusing kids. Your child must try not be a tattle tale - telling is not a good first resort -- but is necessary if your child is unable to stop the bullying.
- Remind your child that if she sees someone being bullied, the fastest 'cure' to to stand beside them. It is not important to speak, just to stand there. If she has just one friend who will stand beside her, it will do a lot.
- Be specific with the classroom teacher. Ask for your child to have a buddy for these situations.
Ask the school to share bullying information. There are films and books available to help stop bullying in schools. LINK - Books, perhaps you could buy one for the class. If you Google 'stop bullying movies', there are a ton of useful movies that the school can show and use.
It is said that bullies are kids that have been bullied. It might be true, but sympathy doesn't change anything. I am not suggesting that your child retaliates by hitting, but taking just one step closer to the bully is a way to clearly show that your child is not intimidated. It says that: "I am not going to accept that." If the child does attempt to hit your child, your child should yell and run. Yes, she should. There will be witnesses and having a witness means she will not be standing alone.
By teaching your daughter how beautiful, smart and kind she is.
This is a video of how one mother responded when her daughter came home from school crying because she was being bullied for her skin color. By teaching her daughter positive affirmations, she is giving her daughter the tools she needs to be less affected by any bullying she faces.
What strikes me about this approach is that it is not about handling the bully. This is important because you could change schools only to find that there is a bully at her new school as well. That is not to say that you shouldn't address it with the principal, by all means pursue whatever official avenues are available. It's just to point out that there will always be bullies--even as adults we face bullies. This is a way of building confidence in your daughter so that she will trust in who she is rather than let a bully dictate what she believes about herself.