My husband and I have a couple friend who has two children ages 5 (boy) and 2.5 (girl).
We have a 3.5-year-old son and a 20-month-old girl.
The two families get together quite often. The parents have similar interests etc. The mom is literally one of my best friends.
However, I am finding myself in uncomfortable situations when they are over due to how their children are. The 5-year-old son is like a tornado in my house and my son turns into a tornado around him as well. He becomes more violent, he plays more rough and it is usually extremely loud in the house when they are over. The girl is a bit easier to control but she has similar issues.
We get together with other parents as well, sometimes there is even more kids in the house but the situation is never like with this family.
I do not know what to do. I really want to have my friends over, but I am finding myself limiting the interactions when their kids are around to max once a week because of these problems.
I tried to enforce the 'house rules' (which are really really relaxed to start with... no yelling, no throwing things unless its a ball etc.) when they are over but it is very hard to entertain friends and parent at the same time. I also don't know how they would react if I started enforcing rules on their children. My husband also thinks that their son is showing autistic behaviors (obviously this is just personal opinion, he is no doctor).
The mom usually just says that this is how he is.. this is the age he is in. She even cheers when my son does something bad because her son is not the 'only bad one'. You can imagine I do not share the sentiment especially because my son never ever acts like that when he is not around her son.
So I am not sure what to do. We really want to stay friends but at this point I am stressed to the max just thinking about them coming over as a family. Please give me advice!