I’m 26 and have a turbulent relationship with both my parents (who are now separated). For example, my dad was just helping me move some boxes and my bike with his car. Parts of it were nice, he bought me a couple slices of pizza and we talked. Parts were not so nice, he got really mad and accused me of not having my things ready.
When we arrived at my home I took the bike off the car and went to lock it up. My dad got really mad and told me not to waste time locking my bike and come help him carry more things. I asked why he was mad and he said he shouldn’t be the one lifting my boxes while I locked up my bike. My home is shared with lots of people and I think I was in the better position to decide to lock the bike right away, and I think my dad was out of line telling me what to do (anyway, it takes just 2 minutes to wrap a lock around the bike). Then we went inside the house and I took off my boots. My dad got mad at me for taking my boots off, as he thought I had forgotten to bring in some boxes that were sitting right at the door. So I kicked him out. He asked if he could use the bathroom and I said no (though I do feel bad about it), and I locked the door behind him. Did I do the right thing? I’m not sure what other options I had? I find it very disrespectful of him to talk to me this way, especially in front of the people I live with. In general I find both my parents extremely bossy and don’t know how to react to it.
The reasons I kicked him out were a) I didn't like the way he was talking to me b) I wanted to teach him a lesson so he wouldn't do it again. c) I wanted to make clear he was in my place and he's a guest there and had to follow my rules, not the other way around.
I know when someone does you a favor, it’s nice to help them back, but you do reserve the right not to. I definitely feel bad about kicking him out, and have thought of apologizing, but then I realize I probably did the right thing.