My 8-year-old daughter finds learning anything hard. She's bright, but with some moderate issues identified around sequencing and visual memory. But she resists any kind of teaching from her parents, though to a lesser extent at school. She gets angry, emotional and refuses to even look unless I cajole her. She flares up after a minute, or even less if she's tried the task before. Maths, rote learning, shoelaces, ball skills... She can't wait to get away if she finds anything less than a piece of cake. It's obviously frustrating for her (and maddening for me).
Your own frustration level is your own worst problem. I know, believe me. Take a minute to calm yourself when necessary, or switch with your partner, if you are able to.
Some things are not necessarily important in this minute. If she needs her shoes tied and it isn't important in this minute -- (no school or important thing is happening), then ignore her request to tie them. I found that learning to tie shoes while they are not on her foot, the easiest way. I also bought two different colours of laces and tied them together at the bottom to make a long-enough lace. She will see the pattern they make. Then it is not hard to see the white lace and the black lace interacting. Then be happy -- this is not urgent. So what if she doesn't learn it in this minute? Let it go!
When it comes to maths/ colours/spelling, and so on -- perhaps look for teaching games -- some can be made by you, others might be borrowed from the library. Board games are a positive and fun way to learn basic skills. There are dozens in retail stores that are tried and true.
There are many computer games that teach these skills. The computer never gets frustrated and simply doesn't allow for the student to reach the next level until they've understood and accomplished the level they are on.
Unless you have reason to think that your child has a learning disability, learning at different rates from other children is perfectly normal. Johnny can make a basket during a game, but can't yet skip. Susie can skip but can't catch. It all works out in the end.
You might find this article from Huff Post interesting. If your daughter feels that you are displeased, it might be impacting her ability to learn from you.