I have a amazing 3 3yr old little not. His father and I got together 2011. We broke up around beginning of 2014. We honestly both fell in love the same day we met at the one and place as the other, we were so madly in love, feb. 2013 my baby half-sister committed suicide 3 months later 4-30-2013 my little brother as direct result of the suicide 5 1/2 years in prison, also my grandmother on my mom's side was taken off life support and died.

I then found out I was pregnant already 3 close to4 months. My sons dad is more on the spent a year in jail. He was actually in jail the First 6 months of our sons life, well I was being poisoned by carrying my son and delivered him at 28 weeks and 4 days, so six months after our son was born, he spent one month in the NNICU.

He gets out shows up at my house he holds my son for all of 2 minutes and breaks up with me telling me i I was only at half of the visits a month so 2 of 4 and it was the last 6 months, my attitude is look 2 is lucky because I was sick for a cpl months and had a new baby like DAMN, he breaks up takes off, winds up coming back later in the week and 2 weeks later he ends up in prison for the 2nd time and gets 2.5 yrs.

A few months in to his sentence an he says he heard I was at this place I start to explain why and he cuts me off and says "talking S**T about me. I asked who he says kinda snarky doesn't matter! I am by no means nice since that's how much he had my back, so I tell him look tell me or were are done I love you but seriously if be not BEING LOYAL AND LIVING YOU AND FAITHFUL AND PATENT and being your first born sons Mom And holding down the fort you don't have my back I'm through.

I said tell me or I'm hanging up AND WILL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN, HE LAUGHS AT ME. AS MUCH AS IT HURT AND IT WAS HARD I HUNG UP. I WROTE HIM EXPLAING I love him but it's not working. The more I TRYED the less he did and so it was up to him to build a relationship with our son.

He had a messed up child good his parents druggies they used him as a hide away when they got pulled over wd all kinds of horrible Shit, well he made maybe 5 calls all kinds off girls he wrote some Right after I HUNG up like it was finally done, I sent it back to him he did not get why I did that, my mom did answer if my son was awake and he was discouraged because baby's don't talk really anyway . He got out end of June.

He calls me 2days after he was released because I told a good friend that if he did not call by that night I'd be taking to court for his rights. It's excuse After excuse, I wanted him to commit to one visit a week for four hours I had researched, and had a friend of his help me when I was not sure where the line of my wants and my sons needs is its pretty thin so to speak.

I love my son with everything in me I want what is best for my son. I had a very good mom who somehow did it single for a few yrs my bio dad couldn't be high when he came around so he just didn't. Come, I have a step dad who has been dad for 20+Yrs. My sons dad was the flaky always busy but never goes away though clearly is there only because he can.

My ex lived with his dad's parents from 4-15yrs his mom kept his full brother and half sister his dad goes and takes him at 15 for the welfare money 2weeks later he winds up with his mom who is moving him to Michigan with her mom's stolen credit cards.

She kicks him out 2weeks later his dad said his parents did not want Mikey there any more because he was a their, which is a lie I met the grandparents and they didn't have anything in written form so they couldn't stop his dad. My ex up to then was a straight A student Honor Role and on the varsity wrestling team. He didn't have a chance. So he starts dating a girl, cool I have only one problem I will not allow my son to leave my house with his dad alone because in 3 yrs he has only been there 2weeks.

I have offered to leave, i have left per his request I have then stayed per his request, I have pushed him to be there for his kid, I have backed off , I have to feel like he can fully take care of my son if he's not at my house, he spent ti.e in prison And sponsors recover from meth abuse, he didn't take a parenting class or especially sponsors.

When he got out for the 3 weeks I wanted him to take a hound fathers program for Catholic community services, it helped ppl who were not there at birth bond and learn things that you learn from the start and is not learnabke later. Also how to find a job and us be a family his reaction was why are not going to a young mothers program, I said because I in the hands on speed learning program, wanting you to catch up.

Any way my sons dad is always saying he wants to be his but has not seen my kid since the end of July. I left for a month 5hrs away to my aunt's in August spent the hole month of September with I want to bits, and before my trip he gets with this girl I know her to so I approached her saying I could NOT care less about them but at this time and the fact that he was only out Aaweek that Mikey needs to be his own dad before he has any other people around.

That he needs to do it on him and that since i wasn't allowing her to come over to my home not even to sit in my driveway, I think her insacuritys are none of my concern nor is right for him to call me selfish and not come to see my son except 3weeks later for 20 mins before our month trip.

I get back he starts getting mad because he still hasn't seen his son, Omg I have never heard some one claim to want something so bad and use every reason not to show up. The October 1st after a month I told him off, lots of drama gots himself a new girl who is married and has his little girl the other one had 5 kids any way his girl tells mid October I will be dealing with her only because my druggie words are none need she has a good lawyer blah blah, she encouraged him to quite his job to not pay me hold support because then he can by what I need I dont even know except they get high I asked fir $10 And pull ups different days the same week.

She seems to think her and I have baby's type stuff. I am now beyond them. I feel my son isn't his number 1 and she breaks up with his dad for bringing pull ups so he doesn't or they have me and my son in a parking LOT for over A gr8 because theyy they were on there way. for the $10 and he says can't co.e kiddo sick we need to take her home. He comments on my friends pics of my son and her, talking like to me but I'm only tagged its her post. So I finally lost it to screenshots of 28 messages telling me I'm a. Bad mom saying he's hers, she attacked me because I said she isn't coming around because he is just trying to hurt me and rub his rebound in my face neither of them are mature or care about the kids. They ambush me after my sons party sitting in my driveway telling me what is what. How do I get them to realize how stupid they look and how my son n I are good with out his dad. I have a step dad and my step has a step their are men willing to raise my son.

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    Lonee, welcome to Parenting. Can you edit this down a little bit to focus on what you want to know? A lot of this background isn't necessarily important -- as I understand it, you have an ex and his girlfriend who are acting out and you want advice on how to handle that co-parenting situation, right? – Acire Dec 22 '16 at 13:24
  • Welcome to Parenting. From what I understand, your problems seems to be more complex than what we can handle here. Please, please consider getting professional advice (child care services, child care charity, etc.) to help you. And best of luck to you! – sleske Dec 23 '16 at 9:13
  • You and your son matter. Nothing else. Everybody else has to earn any rights by being responsible and showing manners. If you can, find people who treat you better. Your current situation is not all there is. Maybe read a book or two by Stephen Covey (seven habits) just for a bit of fresh air and ideas. Protect yourself and your son. – Haunt_House Dec 26 '16 at 4:49

I am not sure to have fully understood all the story but I'll still try to answer.

Protect your son

Above all things, you need your son to be safe and, as your described it, his father is nowhere near the definition of safe. You should limit the contact his father have with him and never allow him to take your son with him. His criminal background, drug usage and comportment make me afraid of what could happens should he be left with your son alone.

If he really wish to see his son, Create strong boundaries. For example :

You may not see your son when I'm not around. If you wish to see him, you must contact me at least a day before, I have the right to decline the meeting. Additionally, any drugs, weapons or any illegal items must be kept away from my home. You can't bring to your place. You can't bring your wife with you. If any of those conditions are not fulfilled, the meeting will be instantly annulated and if it is repeated, I will call the cops and go to court to have you get out of my son's life.

In any case, I think taking some legal actions is the way to go.

  • Ge the courts involved. Period. Do that yesterday! – L.B. Dec 22 '16 at 16:06
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    All of the above assuming she has full legal custody. If not, her own dirty laundry could become an issue, too. – Weckar E. Jul 19 '17 at 11:12

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