If you're aware of the mistakes, and conscious of when you make them, that's a big step already. The next step is to develop alternatives, and have them ready, so that as soon as you recognize a behaviour that you don't want to be doing, you pull out the alternative.
Let's say your parents always smacked you on the cheek when you did something wrong. Perhaps you have unconsciously begun doing the same with your children. Decide on an alternative response (put them in a timeout chair, yell (not ideal, but better than hitting), laugh, give yourself a timeout, etc.). Have that decision made ahead of time. Then, as soon as you feel the urge to smack them, employ your alternate strategy instead. Since you've planned it ahead of time, you don't have to think about it; it's already ready to go.
Or maybe you've got into a bad habit of yelling at your spouse when they don't behave the way you expect. Ahead of time, think of a better way of responding, and then when you find yourself about to yell (or already yelling), employ your alternate strategy.
It's not a foolproof strategy, and there will be times that you are too worked up to even think about your alternate strategies, but hopefully as you continue to employ them as much as possible, they will start to become ingrained and natural.
It sounds like you're fairly introspective and insightful, in that you've been able to recognize your own undesirable behaviours. Use that insight to continue to evaluate your strategies and determine what is working and what is not. Remember that there is nothing wrong with anger; it's just how you express it that is important. Also recognize that change takes time; you can't expect to become a different person overnight.