First off, what courage to take an honest look at yourself! So many parents think problems only lie in their kids and often neglect the part they're playing and shaping their family.
Secondly, how impactful that you want to help your daughter feel the confidence you didn't feel growing up. You definitely hit the nail on the head - the two biggest needs children have are to feel a sense of belonging and significance. Without either, kids often act out in jealousy, anger, tantrums or worse, suppress their emotions. To make the conscious decision to help your daughter raise her self-esteem begins first with where you're beginning. We all have had less than ideal parents or at least moments of it. I can imagine that you have had other role models in your life that have helped shape the strong male you are today. What are those qualities that those people hold? What are key words of wisdom you have heard them share that play throughout your mind? These visions of who you look up to shape who you are as a parent. By focusing on aspects of who you want to be will also allow you to quiet the judgemental thoughts and help you instinctively connect with your daughter.
Now, all that I've mentioned, that is the real work. No matter how many skills you learn, if you don't shift your internal focus, you'll keep coming up against the same frustrations. With that said and with wanting some concrete suggestions, I would highly recommend making your time with your daughter as consistent as possible. The more consistent you are, the more she'll learn to trust that your words meet your actions. This will build a secure world for her to know that because her needs are being met she can develop a sense of internal control to build on her self-esteem. She will trust that she can come to you with problems and you will help guide her. I agree with the suggestions above, as well. It's so important to encourage versus praise her. Praise focuses on the superficial and the end goal. Encourage gives attention to her abilities and traits. To all that she brings into this world.
Hope this helps. Best of luck!
Stephanie Owen, LMFT