What to do about my 2-year-old crying out loud at the noise made from a toy and is it too early to teach him to be independent?

Question

I have a son who is 2 years and 4 months old, and a 4-month-old infant. It came to our attention that the toddler was scared of the sound from a toy, such as an electronic toy car beeping or flashing the light, or any other toys that make sounds. He would cry out loud at the sound and rush into my arms or his mother's.

We also noticed that:

1. It mostly only happened with toys - he shows no such emotion when hearing the sound of a real car or the likes.

2. It didn't happen when he was even younger, as far as I recall, he was fine playing with those toys at age 1 or so.

Also I'm always a little concerned about my son being too attached to us, as a result sometimes I decline his request for a hug and encourage him to walk on his own - am I right or is it too early to teach him to be independent and tough?

Answer 1

This sounds like a natural reaction to the new baby. Your older son is insecure about the loss of parental attention to the new baby, and is trying to get more attention for himself. I have three kids spaced at two year intervals, and have been through this twice.

The solution is to give as much attention to the older child as to the younger one, to the extent possible. That will reassure him that he's not being displaced. Definitely don't decline requests for hugs. Encourage him to walk on his own by giving him plenty of enthusiastic praise when he does so, rather than taking it for granted.

It can also help to give him privileges that you don't give the baby, "because he is the big brother". That will help keep him from regressing, which is another technique kids use to retain attention when a new sibling comes along.