I have a 5 year old adopted brother who is very hyper. His first nursery school refused to accept him into his classes anymore because of this, which angered our family and we had to transfer him to a special education school. He continued nursery there but not without any issues, he continues to be very hyper and inattentive but at least there’s only 6 of them in his classroom and their class is more about play learning that time. Because of our financial situation we transferred him again to a public school this year (kindergarten), even if we didn’t want to. His hyperactivity toned down a bit, but still he finds it difficult to concentrate in his class and keeps pestering his classmates and teachers. He can’t write by himself, and still can’t read. Which really worries me as his older sister. My mom told me that the teacher advised that if my brother still can’t learn he might have to repeat the grade next school year. I know my brother isn’t dumb because he can speak well and has even learned to speak decent english (not our first language), because he watches tv a lot. He can count, knows his ABCs and lots more stuff. I think he’s got a pretty good memory. He’s just wary of the learning process I think, sometimes he tells me it’s too tiring to study. My mother isn’t very attentive to him about his education coz she says it’s already a hassle for her (she’s already 55). The teacher is the same way coz she’s got about 20 students in her class and she’s not specialized with kids like my bro. I wanted to teach my brother myself but I work 6 days and more than 8 hours a week. I can only see him in nights and he’s already asleep that time. I was just wondering if my brother’s situation will still improve. I know he’s not that hyper now but I’m only concerned with his education. I really could use some advice. Thank you in advance.

P.S. I'm very bad with english, but I will try my best to respond to your answers and inquiries. Thank you...

  • Can you say what country you are in? There are things you can do in the U.S. with respect to getting the school to provide accomodations that probably don't apply to other countries.
    – Warren Dew
    Sep 25, 2016 at 17:21
  • 1
    You might look up ADHD on the internet (there's lots of information available) to see if it describes what you are seeing in your brother. If it turns out your brother has ADHD, it would be best to get him medical help, but if your family cannot afford it, you may be able to find some suggestions that would help. I had ADHD for fifty years before I figured out what was going on, and all it took was a friend telling me to look up the symptoms. Sep 26, 2016 at 16:16
  • @Francinedegroodtaylor, that should be an answer Jan 3, 2017 at 17:07

2 Answers 2


I don't think you want to "control" your hyperactive brother so much as help him harness or re-direct his extra energy into other behaviors. When you start from the premise that something is wrong with him, you don't see what's right with him.

In an earlier time, people like him would grow up to be leading men of their town, always up, always doing. The trouble isn't that he's broken, but mismatched to the tasks we give children. As much as you can, alter the tasks to match the child.

I teach 12 year-old children, and when I have a child who simply can't sit, I bring out a lectern and he stands at it and works. When I need something from the office, he goes to get it. Sometimes I send him for things I don't need, just so he can move.

Everyone needs to agree on what you're actually expecting your brother to do. Is it learn to read, or is it sit still? If it's learn to read, stop making him concentrate on sitting still. Try things that allow him to move. Maybe hook up a camera to your TV and point it at books so he can stand and fidget while he reads to you. In the end, you might consider medication, but never as a first choice.

  • This is an awesome answer. Thank you for this perspective on the issue. Jan 3, 2017 at 17:09

Your brother needs extra care and attention in home and in school. Some precaution in food habit may help. He should avoid or take less these foods. These food cause being hyper:

1/ Chemical additives/preservatives such as BHT (butylated hydroxytoluene) and BHA (butylated hydroxyanisole), which are often used to keep the oil in a product from going bad and can be found in processed food items such as potato chips, chewing gum, dry cake mixes, cereal, butter, and instant mashed potatoes

2/ Milk and eggs

3/ Chocolate

4/ Foods containing salicylates, including berries, chili powder, apples and cider, grapes, oranges, peaches, plums, prunes, and tomatoes (salicylates are chemicals occurring naturally in plants and are the major ingredient in many pain medications)

5/ Extra sugar

(Doctor or nutritionist can provide you a good list or chart of foods which he should take and he should avoid or take lesser)

Specialized school & care is required. Better to consult with an specialized doctor in your country. There are also few tips you will find over internet to improve his situation and improve is attentiveness.

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