I might be over worrying this issue but I have realized whenever anything say like he hurts himself- not bad just during playtime and he starts crying, instead of coming to me for comfort or consolation he will rather prefer to walk away crying and go to his room.

I have to call and follow him so that I can console him, it will take him like minutes before he accepts my consolation. I really feel sad about this.

Is this okay?

I've always seen kids run to their parents for consolation whenever something happens to them. My son doesn't.

He's almost 20 month's now.

Update: no other strange behavior. He surely listens when I ask him to stop doing something - I'm not hard on him, he's still small. The only thing I can say is that he doesn't like being assisted. He's already shown some strong independence traits, can this be the reason. Do independent kids behave like this?

  • you haven't mentioned the age of child. Commented Aug 9, 2016 at 9:06
  • He's almost 20 month's now @TheIndependentAquarius
    – user22314
    Commented Aug 9, 2016 at 12:06
  • Need more information to give you a better answer. Is there any other behavior you would consider strange? How do you handle misbehavior with your boy? How do you respond when he doesn't come to you for consolation? Thanks.
    – user23895
    Commented Aug 10, 2016 at 16:33
  • No strange behavior other than him having shown a strong sense of independence. So do independent kids act like this?
    – user22314
    Commented Aug 10, 2016 at 22:33
  • Where else does he demand independence?
    – user23895
    Commented Aug 10, 2016 at 23:28

2 Answers 2


Sounds good. Here's an interesting technique that I believe could help here. When he goes off, be near and tell him that you need a hug. If no response, repeat, "I NEED A HUG", and wait, if no response, do it a third time, I need a hug. If still no, tell him you will be waiting when he's ready for a hug. AND give him his space. You could also role play at home different pretend scenarios where he could help you with your "boom". Appeal to his inner helper. Take turns treating each other. Great activity to take ten minutes together, uninterrupted, focused.. to play together. Best to you and your family.

  • Thanks, will surely try this. We usually arrange letters together to make word's. So we have play time together. He's also a very happy kid. Was just worried as a mum because I expect him to run to me. Appreciated.
    – user22314
    Commented Aug 11, 2016 at 1:21
  • This worked well. Thanks. Finally he's coming to me and I'm a happy mum.
    – user22314
    Commented Aug 26, 2016 at 11:43
  • That's wonderful! Let me know if you have additional questions in the future. Best to you and your family.
    – user23895
    Commented Aug 26, 2016 at 11:53

Let him. Everyone is different. Don't force yourself on him because he is learning how to be a person and we'll soon be learning more about boundaries. You're his first relationship. Would you like it if you wanted to be alone to calm yourself down and someone forced you to talk with them or hug them?

Learning that it's okay to be on his own and self soothe is important and sounds like he's doing it well. It's not about you, it's about him.

When he calms down discuss his feelings with him. Talk about what happened and begin teaching how to identify feelings like sad and mad. He won't get everything you're saying but he'll pick up a lot.

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