My son is 16. He's applied for cheerleading as a hobby. Me and my wife thought it was good, he's athletic and into sports. The cheer squad is not affiliated with his highschool.

The issue at hand is the uniforms. His coach has said he has to wear a crop top and skirt (like the rest of the cheerleaders) with a sports bra and black, blue or red Spanx underneath, and that there is no male equivalent.

He told me he felt embarrased about the uniform and tried to sensibly discuss it with her but she said there wasn't an alternative.

My son is worried about this.

I feel like confronting this woman and giving her a piece of my mind but my wife says we should both confront her. Our son is unsure of how to handle this and worries about the whole thing. How can we address the issue?

  • 3
    Why is he trying out for a team if he's not willing to live by their rules? – Warren Dew Jun 25 '16 at 22:42
  • 5
    It sounds like utter nonsense to make a teenaged boy dress like a girl. If your son doesn't want to dress like that, he doesn't need to join the squad. – anongoodnurse Jun 25 '16 at 23:48
  • 3
    I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it appears to be a troll question. – A E Jun 27 '16 at 18:30

It is perfectly reasonable for your son to want to wear clothing that is an accurate representation of his gender identity.

It would be a good idea to find out if the coach is okay with you supplying a guy-version of the uniform. Perhaps one could be designed or a generic uniform for guy cheerleaders altered as an adequate replacement. I don't know who pays for these things, but you (or your son) may need to.

If the coach is dead-set on him dressing like a girl, it may be a good idea to reevaluate his suitability for the team.

This is just my opinion: It sounds like the coach is quite old-school in her views and may be making this difficult because she doesn't like having a guy on her team. Many cheerleading teams have guys on them, however some people still think that guys shouldn't be doing something like this and maybe she is one of them. In which case, I'd recommend considering seriously if this is the kind of adult you want coaching your son.

  • 1
    The underlying values will make your son's life miserable, so finding another team might be a better option. – Nelson Jun 26 '16 at 23:46
  • 6
    My daughter is in cheerleading, so we go to the competitions to watch her. There aren't a lot of young men in cheerleading, but they definitely add to the character of the teams, providing a strong base and just a nice contrast. I have never seen any young men forced to wear exactly what the women are wearing, there is always a masculine version. This coach is not someone you want your son working under. – Francine DeGrood Taylor Jun 27 '16 at 16:43
  • 1
    Hi stacey, this is a good answer. It is closed because of irregularities in the OP's account. If they get removed, we will keep the question and your answer so you do not lose any rep from it. – Rory Alsop Jun 27 '16 at 21:04

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.