My daughter has been going to daycare, 3 days a week, for a year now, but she is afraid of other kids.

We are told she doesn't interact much with other kids, as she prefers the company of the adults who work there.

When she is with us, anytime a kid comes to play with her, she either freezes or ignores the kid and runs the other way. Even if it's a kid she knows from daycare.

However, at home, she'll talk about them cheerfully.

Is the fact that we don't talk to her in the language of the country she is being raised in a factor ? (see this question ; we chose not to, but we can)

What can we do to help her ?

  • 3
    Have you tried having play dates with just one other kid? If you host it, you can see how your daughter does in a familiar environment with familiar people. Might build her confidence or give you clues about what she might be struggling with.
    – Becuzz
    Commented Jun 13, 2016 at 16:40

1 Answer 1


I used to be kind of like this. I was also in a daycare center, and I just didn't like the other kids... except one girl who made me laugh with funny faces and who I always looked for, as soon as I was dropped off there. Since I didn't see that girl that often, I suspect she was from another group of kids.

I don't really know why I didn't like the kids. I have one memory of me pooping my pants and the other kids laughing and commenting on it, and that was one situation that made me not like them even more, but at that point my distaste for them had already been there for some time.

Consider if she reacts the same with kids outside the daycare. If she's more social outside of it, then it's likely to be something similar to my experience, and not likely to be a problem. It may be that the girl is just naturally shy like I was/am. Another thing I think I was, but I know I am now, is not very fond of crowds.

About the language thing, I very much doubt that is even a factor. Couldn't be a factor in my case. I answered this similar question about it: ML@H + OPPL = confusion?

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