It just a phase; one of the random things she learned elsewhere. But how you handle it when she screams might be the reason why she keeps screaming.
I try to refrain myself from criticizing other people's parenting methods.
But I can tell you hitting is not a good way, it probably will work due to pain; but the only thing you are teaching your child is that 'if you dont get what you want, you can hit people for it'. Then there will be a phase they will hit you or others when they get upset.
First thing you need to learn as a parent is; dont get upset/annoyed/bothered when they cry or scream at home or in public. We know how hard this sometimes can be, but remember you need to be an good example for keeping your cool. If you do get upset, then you are teaching them getting upset is normal. They will then do exactly what you dont want them to do.
Second, when they do something wrong and there cannot be any doubts about it. They need to be able to understand what you are trying to correct. Like screaming loud, throwing with toys etc. You punish them by doing something they dont like. For example, I put my son in his playing corner /turning off the television / take away his toy / leave him in the hallway alone with doors closed etc. Outside is bit more limited, but by putting him in his buggy / take away his toy etc.
What you are teaching them is; there are consequences if you do something wrong or not behave and you cant do or get everything you want. Are those not the exact things we adults also have to deal with everyday?
When my son overreacts and screams, I just react by saying shhh very calmly and explain to him very slow and deliberately quiet. He calms down most of time. When you have conversation with someone and the other person is talking very loudly. If you reply that person deliberate quietly, he will reply less loud.
A few things I have learned being a parent is:
- dont always say no, being less strict sometimes works positively
- keep calm and talk quietly although your brains tell you to scream
- be a good example and be consistent
- patience, it can take some time for him to know what is wrong
- reward my son, when he does something good/nice
My son is a typical curious, loud, crying, naughty, things throwing toddler. But when we are outside compared to other children, he is never causing any troubles. He just listens. Maybe we are lucky or....