I have been with someone for almost a year now and her children have steadily been getting worse. She has three boys and their father is hit and miss in their lives.
The oldest who is 9 lies constantly, tells his younger brothers to misbehave so they will get onto trouble. Also he yells defiantly at myself and all others. He doesn't listen when I have tried to speak to him and tell him that only bad things come from bad behavior. Lately he has learned that he can lie to his mother and that she will side first with him over me. When I say this I put him in time out by the way he screams kicks, rolls on floor etc. He then calms down. He noticed his mother left the house. As soon as that happened he grabbed his own arm and squeezed while yelling ouch and glancing at the front door waiting for his mother to come and yell at me.
The second child is 5. He is worse than the 9 year old. The 9 year old will throw a fit but listens most of the time but the 5 year old doesn't seem to care. He has yelled repeatedly at me telling me he hates me. Will not do anything I tell him. Does everything to my face I tell him not to do and whines and cries constantly. I have tried to do activities with him. I have even given him fun task to do to no avail. He knows he can holler ouch and his mother will come to aid him no matter what. He called me a nasty names and cussed at me.
Her third son just turned 4. Listens sometimes. Throws fits more than should. Disrespectful. Disobedient. Knows that he will get his way no matter what.
I have told their mother that I can't take much more and I have been loosing my temper more often due to the stress of everything. It's like they want me and their mother to argue and fight. Like they just don't want me around and express that to me daily. Now I just got custody of my 2 year old son and I do not want him to emulate any of this awful behavior.
I feel as though I am getting nowhere trying to communicate my concerns with their mother as she is quick to blame me for any and for everything that goes on. I am at my wit's end. I do not need the advice from any of her children or her and I don't want my son to suffer for it either. Any suggestions other than leave?