I have a 4 yr. old Son, he was adopted at birth. His biological "mom" used meth during pregnancy. I knew that he could develop problems in regard to behaviors. He's extremely bright, learns easy and learns fast. His vocabulary is 100% as well as comprehension. He knows right from wrong, I'm certain of that.
However, he runs off when we're in public, and thinks it's funny, no consequence makes a difference, including a good spanking, which is the immediate response. He will run into a busy highway, with us chasing him with every ounce of strength we have.
He plays fairly good with other kids, but has to be in control, and if he don't have that control, he will hit, and hit hard. I've let the natural consequence take place whenever possible and he's been slapped or kicked by other kids and it's very deserved, but once again does no good.
He will scream "shut up" at us or his grandparents, or answer with a smart mouth "nope", over and again.
He's not destructive, loves to have stories told to him or for me to sing to him and he engages in conversation with interest and the ability to converse. When he's in preschool, he's good and has only been in time out a couple of time in the last year, his behavior is also very appropriate in Sunday School.
I question myself, constantly and wonder if I'm the problem. I took him to a child psychiatrist, who wanted to put him on several (4) different medications and never as much as did a physical or blood work on him. I'm guessing ADHD and defiant personality disorder, but simply don't know where to turn.
I'm scared and unfortunately coming apart. I love this child with every part of me, but I'm failing. I don't know where to turn, what to do or say and it's not hard to see what the future holds for him. Any suggestions or advise would be appreciated.