We have young special needs kids and not enough budget room for babysitters and lots of date nights out. I think quality time that makes our relationship better and helps us connect is really important but have a hard time coming up with ideas besides watching TV/movies.

What are some other romantic/intimate things we can do at home?

  • 3
    Not exactly a parenting question, buy as kids benefit from a good relationship between parents.... Suggestion: Switch the TV off. Pretend your dining room is a restaurant (order takeout or prepare the food in advance). Play music in the background. Talk to each other, preferably not about the kids or upcoming tasks, but as two adults. Share thoughts, hopes, dreams, experiences and insights. Dance, if you like or cuddle on the sofa. Read to each other. Take dessert with you to the bedroom.
    – Stephie
    Apr 8, 2016 at 7:06
  • 3
    I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it is not about parenting, but relationships.
    – Ida
    Apr 11, 2016 at 23:36
  • I'm voting to reopen this question. The child isn't the sole focus in the topic of parenting. Parenting, after all, involves at least one parent. The relationship between parents is just as important as raising the child and their is a wealth of knowledge among the community members to help guide this question. Oct 17, 2017 at 0:35
  • This is very off topic - it is too broad, opinion based and not about parenting.
    – Rory Alsop
    Dec 16, 2017 at 23:46

2 Answers 2


At the risk of sounding trite - I think it's not so much about what you do, rather about how you do it, and the fact that you take time to think about what to do, and do it together.

Yes, certain activites are difficult / impossible at the moment (romantic weekend for two in Paris, day-long motorcycle rides etc). Still, there is a lot you can do together which is possible at home in the evening, when your kid is asleep.

What exactly depends on your preferences. Some ideas:

  • playing games together (board games, computer games, ...)
  • cooking together
  • inviting friends for a nice evening
  • planing the next holiday or whatever else you are looking forward to
  • sharing some physical intimacy - there are many possibilities, taking a bath together, massage, cuddling or any type of sexual activity you enjoy
  • finally, there's nothing wrong with watching a movie together - as long it's not the only thing you do

In addition to that, even if you cannot afford a babysitter, there are other ways to get some free time. Maybe you have good friends, with or without childern of their own, who will babysit (possibly in exchange for other favors, or because they enjoy being with your kid). Are there any grandparents, aunts/uncles etc.? Also, often there are children's activities offered by scouting associations, local authorities, churches etc. where children are taken care of for half a day or a day - maybe that's an option?

Finally, there may be activities which you can do as a family, while still having some time for the two of you. Even if it's just sitting on a park bench arm in arm while your kid is playing in the sand.

With a bit of creativity, you'll hopefully find something that gives you the intimacy you need, and still keeps your kid happy. Good luck!


If you know your kids sleep schedules and how long they sleep for then schedule an in-house date night during that time. The key to any date is ambiance, even if its a take-out from the local cheapie diner/chicken shack/kebab shop if you take the time to make the table, put candles and cutlery out, lower the lights, put on the walrus of luuuuve then you can bring some spark to it. Alternatively, candle up the bathroom with tea lights, run a hot bath for your partner and give them a shoulder rub. It's about ambiance, you could do the same with a big bathtowel on the bed, candles etc and give each other full body massages.

Thing is its about making a concious effort together and setting an ambiance. Kids tend to knock the spontaneity out of getting jiggy, so by knowing their routines and how they act in certain circumstances means that you can factor in a certain amount of spontaneity if your both prepared to work it, if they're watching a cartoon that can keep their attention for 20-30 mins, then you have a 10-15 minute window of opportunity for it. You can get something like that going by texting each other beforehand.

It's even the little things that get forgotten about in any LTR, such as a bunch of flowers, a novel a thoughtful act a small compliment, things that get forgotten in the day to day life of having a family.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .