Our 5-year-old daughter is a very smart, sweet, and usually well-behaved girl. She usually hates to get in trouble and responds well to correction. However, lately she has been getting into some trouble at school for not listening and refusing to participate one day, and has been not listening to us and getting very angry about having "rules". She is going back to her younger behaviors of having trouble leaving places, such as family get-togethers, grandma's house, etc. She gets mad and STAYS mad, will pout and carry on for quite a while before she finally comes around and usually apologizes.
I do not know where this has come from and have tried to figure it out. She likes school, and says she likes her teacher and friends. My DH (spouse) teaches at her school, so he is pretty in the loop about her days there, and he states that she is most always happy when he sees her, she plays with pretty much anyone.
There have been no changes at home, other than I started working full-time in June, but that coincided with her starting kinder, so she wouldn't be home anyway.
She is very moody, and the littlest thing can cause so much drama. She had been sick a couple times right in a row and her tonsils are still swollen, but not red, so I don't really think she is sick or anything that would be contributing... I kept hoping it was just a growth spurt or something because she has sprouted up recently and all her pants are short.
I have gotten some great insight and advice from other posts on here, but the biggest question I still have is what to do when she doesn't listen while we are out, or it is something time sensitive.
For example: We are at a family function and when we let her know it's almost time to leave, she says "No!" and is defiant, and ran away from DH. This turned into over an hour of issues where she was saying she didn't care if she got in trouble, no one ever helps her, wishes she didn't have a mommy & daddy, etc. To me, that is just unacceptable behavior, and I don't want to let her "get away with it". I find it hard to ignore because we are GOING to leave at a certain time, and so at some point it becomes a matter of force. Or sometimes I tell her it's bedtime and again, "NO!" and won't come, the consequence has been losing a bedtime story. But of course, telling her that just warrants more drama crying and anger.
I feel there must be a consequence to defiant, disrespectful behavior, is that wrong? So many posts here say to ignore it. If I just ignore it, she will not be in bed. Do I just say "I am available to read stories and tuck you in now, later I will not be"? I know it is getting to be a power struggle, and I want to nip it in the bud as it's new behavior. I am all for "positive parenting" but it's so hard for me in the moment, when she is being so rude!