We have a lovely 4,5 year old boy who's learned to be independent in many daily activities (e.g. eating, getting dressed up, taking a shower (supervised)...). Until recently he's generally been acting as mature as the average kid of his age. He's often commended by the teachers and other adults for his behaviour and manners. A year ago we got the second child and he has been nothing but wonderful towards her - he's bringing her toys, entertaining her when she's crying, hugging her daily, etc.
However, in recent months he realised that we don't use the same criteria on the baby as we do on him - e.g. we don't get angry if she spits her food out or throws a toy, we don't demand that she dresses up herself, we do carry her around sometimes, etc.
Basically, we treat both of them according to their ages, but he's now started asking for us to feed him, dress him up, let him play with baby toys, carry him around like a baby too, etc. When we refuse it, he gets upset and acts up. This is all understandable, but it is tiring when you have to deal with this day after day after day.
We keep explaining to him that he is older now and able to do more things on his own and we also tell him that we had treated him the same when he was one year old, but most of the time it doesn't register with him. Do you have any other suggestions for dealing with this?
Some notes: We are making sure to give both kids equal attention, to spend quality time as a family, but also quality time with him alone. The kids themselves get along perfectly, enjoy each others' company and often laugh a lot, so I don't see any problems there.