I love my daughter so much but she is destroying my marriage. I cannot get her to stay in any bedroom when it is time to sleep. When she was younger she would at least allow one of her brothers to lay down with her but now she demands daddy.
If I walk out of the room she starts screaming and crying as if someone was murdering her, shortly after she comes out of the room. This wouldn't be so bad if she went right to sleep but she takes an hour to fall asleep which ruins our night. To make things worse, lately she has started waking up in the middle of the night and if she realizes I am not there she resorts to screaming and crying then hunts me down.
I have tried walking her back calmly with her screaming and crying and immediately getting up hunting me down. We have stopped allowing her to watch any screens before bed. She used to drink warm milk before bed but she doesn't want that anymore.
What do you do with a daughter who will not stay in the room and screaming bloody murder?
- We usually try turning off all screens 30min - 1hr before bed time.
- Attempt to have any screen time before bed time light hearted, she is huge on those surprise egg youtube videos.
- We do not have a big song and dance before bed, usually it is change her diaper, if she doesn't have PJ's on put them on her, and we have a short good night kiss tradition passed down.
- "I love you", kiss, "Sweet Dreams", kiss, "Good Night", bunch of kisses! [Just in case anyone is looking for one :)]
- She used to request her "binky" (pacifier) and a glass of warm milk but she hasn't asked for it in over a week (since she got sick, she is better now)
- She then says "daddy, me" and pats the pillow to ask me to lay down. I have tried not entering the room, asking her if she wants mommy or one of her brothers but she will only accept me. (this is a love/hate thing lol)
- She seems to always have a hard time breathing, her finger is always up her nose or blowing her nose.
- She refuses all medication, liquid or chewables of any types. When she gets a fever the only thing we can do is give her a suppository. I wish she would take allergy medication, at times I can get her to chew one buts its rare.
- She is big into monsters, Hotel Transylvania, Monster University, Monster Inc, Nightmare Before Christmas. I was leery at first but I kinda feel they teach her that monsters aren't anything to be afraid of since they kinda "humanize" them. She does watch other light hearted stuff as well though, more so than the monster flix.
- She snores most of the time, she also seem to always uncover herself. I have tried dressing her lighter and putting less blankets on to ensure she isn't getting too hot.
- Generally she stays asleep once asleep but lately she has been waking up looking for me.
- She sleeps in our bed, she has a bed and we have tried laying her down in her bed but she just tosses and turns and moves around until we put her in our bed.
- When she sleeps with me, most of the time she snuggles up so close to me, i usually turn on my side facing away from her so she can burrow into my back.
- I attempt to put a pillow close to her when I sneak out so she still has a sensation of being next to someone.
- She not only screams and cries but she gets up and leaves the room over and over again.
- We got her a nightlight to see if that helps, only 1 day in with that, it is a subtle yellow dim light.
Hope this additional information helps answer my plea for help :P
~ exhausted father
Follow up: Daughter is 5yo now. She still falls asleep in our bed but if she wakes up when I am moving her she doesn't mind going to her own room. Finally getting personal time. Getting her to sleep has been easier as well. I unfortunately could not stay consistent nor patient enough to most of the suggestions here.
My recommendation is, do not start letting them sleep with you to begin with or you may be in for a long term damaging situation.