I am planning for the future time (hopefully this year) when a nasty divorce that involves a child (my grandchild) is finalized. Over the past 5 years, my relationship with my daughter-in-law has varied from warm to warfare, mostly due to her low threshold of anger/outrage, and is now at a low point. (The change in the relationship did not mirror the demise of the marriage.) Yet this person is the mother of my grandchild. Although we do not live in the same city, we will certainly run into each other from time to time. Beyond that we may try to keep the lines of communication open by tele and email. I am wondering what names former father-in-laws use with their former daughter-in-laws, assuming there is any contact at all. In the past, she has called me "Dad" (perhaps because she did not have any father in her life.) So, what names do ex-fathers-in-law use in communicating with their former daughters-in-law?
What do you call her now? Do you call her "daughter", or "DIL" or some other such relationship-specific name?
After a divorce, depending on how close the relationship is, your daughter-in-law might continue calling you "Dad" (an honorary title), or she may switch to calling you by your first name.
There's no reason I can think of that you have to stop calling her by her name, or can't start doing so.