Here are some facts:

  • My son (1st grader) does not have any boys of his age to play with in my community.
  • Most of the boys are either too small or too big for him.

So, he has made friends with 3 girls who are 1 or 2 years younger than him. Out of these 3 girls, he is particularly interested in one girl. Whenever all 3 of them leave our house, he will wave goodbye to her by calling only her name. Even when playing, he will always show things, etc. to her only.

Also at 5:30 in the evening, he will follow a routine to go to her house and ask her and her sister (both are twins) to come play at our house. If we try to stop him meeting her, then either he will cry or throw a tantrum, which is what's worrying me.

Well, it may be too early, but should I be worried about him getting a little over attached to this girl?

How can I remove over attachment for her?

  • 5
    Are you particularly worried because this is a girl? Or because he's very attached to a particular friend?
    – Acire
    Commented Sep 30, 2015 at 13:52
  • 2
    Sounds like he has a couple of friends and one is a closer friend than the others. Seems normal to me.
    – Becuzz
    Commented Sep 30, 2015 at 13:55
  • @Erica, I am worried because he is very attached to a particular friend.
    – meetpd
    Commented Sep 30, 2015 at 13:56
  • I agree with @Becuzz, it sounds like he has a pal. Maybe he's lonely and really wants to play with other kids
    – GdD
    Commented Sep 30, 2015 at 15:11
  • Having a best friend doesn't sound too abnormal. I sometimes feel sad for people who didn't have any real "best-friend" growing up. Some of the people I knew in high-school lamented only ever having "the lads" ,superficial or passing friends with no really close friendships with people they could really trust and it seemed to bring a great deal of sadness into their lives.
    – Murphy
    Commented Sep 30, 2015 at 18:00

1 Answer 1


Your son sounds totally normal. He has his group of friends and one of them is a better friend than the others. Personally, I have my friends and then I have some friends who are closer than others. I would be willing to bet you do too. So that part is totally normal.

The fact that he gets upset when he can't go play with this friend seems normal too. Right now, that is part of his routine, probably a very enjoyable part. And when you break that routine, it is upsetting to a small child. Even more so since he likes it and probably looks forward to it. I wouldn't worry about it.

If you would rather not have to deal with the tantrums over not being able to play, you can try to make it less of a part of the routine. You don't need to stop them from playing together, just make it less of a "at 5:30 it is play time". Vary the times. Also try to help him understand that he may not be able to play every day so that is less upsetting when it happens. Give him warnings earlier in the day that, for example, you will all be going out to dinner and he won't be able to play with his friend that night.

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