My boy, two years - nine months.

We teach him good words, teach him to be polite to parents and even to anyone that he will meet. We always support him physically (buy/give things he wanted), and mentally (tell him a story and playing with him). We also respond to any repeat questions and even for his imagination. We always apologise when we have a mistaken to him, and he do the same things. But lately, he did alot of things that we could not tolerate. And starting to not listen to us.

He is hard to listen our words day by day and it seems getting worse. He clearly heard but chooses not to do what we ask and he doesn't even turn his head when we call him. But when we said in whispered; "Let's going out" or "I want to get ice cream". He heard and reply to what we've said. That's how we negotiate these days, but we do not want to over pamper him.

How to teach him to listen our thoughts, order, and any kind of words without being rude to him. But he always listen to us after shout out loud to him and make he cry.

  • 4
    Can you clarify whether you are talking about hearing you or obeying you? In other words, if you say "come here and eat" and he looks at you and clearly heard but chooses not to do what you ask, that is different from you calling his name and he doesn't even turn his head, or he asks you to repeat what you say a lot. You can edit in some examples that will help clarify your question. – Chrys Sep 28 '15 at 14:00
  • I taught my nephew, niece, daughters, and siblings that I will listen to their words. After I established myself as someone who empowers, and helps - who hears their questions and requests first then I was able to say "I listen to you, and I want you to listen to me. If you can't listen to me then I might not be able to listen so well to you." IMO - when they understand they can lose empowerment and validation by not hearing then they are quite attentive. – EngrStudent Sep 28 '15 at 20:22
  • 2
    If he doesn't respond at all to your words, he may have trouble hearing. If so, you should take him to a doctor ASAP because it's important that he hear words in early childhood for him to develop the language parts of his brain. – Reinstate Monica Sep 29 '15 at 11:45
  • Hi all, thank you for your answer. I already edit and put more information. I hope I can solve my problem or get the appropriate answer for my question. Thankyou.. – Tengku Rahmaddansyah Oct 2 '15 at 9:34

Have you tried asking him WHY he ignores you? As you noticed - it's clear that your son is choosing "not to hear" probably (speaking from my own experience), because it's usually about something you want him to do that is not nice nor pleasant for him (like "it's late, you should end playing by now and go brush your teeth"). In that situation you can (after repeating your request several times) sit next to him, gently grab his arms, look him in the eyes and simply say something like:"I know you can hear me, so why are you pretending that you're not?". The point is to show him, that he CAN has a different opinion, he can disagree with you but it's better to manifest it verbally. You also can ask your child would it be nice for him if you were the one ignoring him so he can understand that it's not feeling very nice to be ignored.

| improve this answer | |

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.