My husband and I have 7 children ages 24, 18, 12, 12 (adopted niece), 5, 3, 2 (adopted niece). All of our biological children who are school aged and beyond are well above average in school except for my 5-year-old.
He seems to have issues with comprehension. I said to him yesterday, "a big purple elephant rides a green bike." I then asked him what color the elephant was - I cannot recall the exact answer, but it was not related to the question at all. He seemed like he had something else on his mind (like he had some playing to do); but the question seemed so simple...why couldn't he answer it?
He just turned 5 in March and started school this year. His comprehension papers are always low scores; like a 75%!! I admit there was some neglect during his most crucial years (19 months to present) because we had to take in my 9-year-old niece nearly four years ago with severe behavioral problems (and all symptoms of Asperger's that I feel was due to neglect at home from an eccentric, overreacting type of mother who took Rx meds, illicit drugs, and slept all day). We spent so, so much of our time trying to correct her that I feel my son was neglected; and that kills my heart to know he was sacrificed for her!
Since my son was 2, he has known his colors, ABCs, and numbers because I always put on videos and would sing and dance with him to learn these, he can write letters, he knows their sounds, etc., but it's just comprehension he struggles with.
I don't know if this matters much, but he loves hugs and kisses and loves to snuggle; but I do have to force him to look into my eyes. He whines about having to do that, squints his eyes, and makes crying sounds. If I don't force him, he seems to have his eyes to the side like he's really taking in what you're saying (or maybe he's thinking of the toys he wants to go play with, I don't know...)
He's also a very picky eater...very! I have to force him to eat dinner every night! I have a suspicion he's not eating lunch at school, so I send him with an extra snack...that he isn't eating because it comes back home. When I ask him what he had for lunch, he'll say milk - when I ask what else he had, he'll say, "I don't know." How can he not remember??
Some days he comes home whining, pitching fits, and screaming about whatever it is that's not going his way. I notice on those days, he falls asleep early (he usually gets about 10 hours of sleep per night). He wakes up every morning saying he's not going to school...but once he's up and ready, he runs toward the door.
When he comes home moody and whiny, it's hard to get him to calm down because everything I say he misinterprets and gets more upset! Why can't he understand simple comprehension? I have started reading 2 to 3 books to him per night in hopes this will help. I ask questions (that he answers incorrectly), I animate the story, use voices, and even sing and clap. I suppose only time will tell if that helps any.
My husband is extremely upset about this and very remorseful for adopting my niece, who he says essentially put a dark cloud over our home since day one. We adopted her mainly because I am very loyal to my family...but my husband did not want to adopt her and wanted her gone (we found out she was secretly hurting our son when no one was looking). Either way, I couldn't just let her go (the state labeled her as "unadoptable") and my husband reluctantly agreed to adopt her for me. He is now regretting allowing the adoption because he feels our son's issues are related to him seeing my niece's behavior the last nearly four years, and I think he's right.
Does anyone have any insight, input, suggestions, or even possible reasons for his lack of understanding? I love my son so very much!! Any help would be GREATLY appreciated!! TIA