How do I make my 10 years old boy to do his study with interest? That is, how I can make him have passion for studies?

Also he seems little less mature to his age. If I ask him to do some maths some and study 1 chapter of science he will finish it off in 10 minutes.

To what I check whether he has studied well or not. This cycle goes on and on. If I just leave him his grades will go down.

I am really confused - how to make him study?

  • 1
    Have you asked him why he isn't interested in his studies? Does he think it's too easy, too hard, too boring?
    – Erik
    Sep 3 '15 at 8:25
  • Is this homework assigned by a teacher, or extra work that you are telling him to do as enrichment activity?
    – Acire
    Sep 3 '15 at 12:19

The first - and probably shocking - answer is:
You can't make him interested and passionate.

There are a few reasons why this won't work:

  • Permanent motivation and passion, by definition, are intrinsic, this means you can foster, encourage and strengthen his interest, but you can't create, let alone force it.

  • The concept of delayed gratification develops over time. While a child can understand that something unpleasant or uncomfortable will bring a reward in the near future, realizing that practising his math may contribute to a comfortable lifestyle in two decades is often too much to imagine.

But there are a few things you can do:

  • Step back and evaluate your own motivation, hopes and fears.
    Why are you driving him to study, is it real slipping grades or some vague insecurities about the future? A wish that he "shall do better" or envisioning some future profession can gain a momentum that can crush the present. That said, I don't mean that your problem is imaginary, but I encourage you to try to be as objective as possible.

  • Find an agreement about how much work is expected and reasonable.
    If you like, get his teachers on board. Assess, how much work is really necessary: Homework probably is non-negotiable (but I've known other cases...), but is extra study really recommended? If so, what are the subjects and what is the time frame?

  • Encourage his curiosity.
    You know best what drives him. Let him read about what interests him, visit museums, do experiments... In short, create an environment that encourages learning, but led by him, not by you. This "gets his brain on track", likely having positive aspects on less favourite subjects. And sometimes it's the really small things - I have seen a new pen work magic with a lazy and sloppy writer.

  • Train delayed gratification.
    Start small, e.g. doing homework in the afternoon earns screen time later or, in a second step, on the weekend. A sticker / points system makes it transparent: Each task earns him a point, he needs n points for a pre-defined reward...

  • Move the conflict zone out of your home.
    If homework and study create tension in your parent/child relationship, consider gettting external help. A study group (but he's probably too young for that) or an elder kid can supervise without a personal relationship. A student or retired teacher can offer extra explanation if he has to catch up in some subjects. Self-directed study can be too difficult for a 10-yo, especially if he's a bit immature for his age.

  • Accept failure.
    Sometimes we need to experience the consequences of our actions. If we don't practise, we might fail a test or get bad grades. If we don't work on a project, we have to face the consequences. If we don't do our homework, we have to fess up to the teacher. Luckily, at ten neither of this is the end of the world. Let him learn this lesson now while it has little influence on his later career. But it's your child that has to learn this lesson, no amount of talking will be as effectice as experiencing it. So consider stepping back and watch from the sidelines while the teacher does his job.


Stephie has a good answer and I'd just like to add a small piece that may help. Try sitting with your son and doing some work you have to do while he does his work next to you. This may be a good for a number of reasons:

  1. Bond with your son
  2. Show him the value you place on sitting down and doing work
  3. You can stay involved exactly with what he is doing daily
  4. Create and reinforce a routine he will benefit from for life

My oldest is 10 and I've noticed that if I don't show her the value of something by spending my personal time involved with her/it then she assumes it isn't important. While she doesn't always want to do things I want her to (chores for her) I find if I stay consistent with my expectations, consequences, and personal participation by working in parallel with her she responds much better.

  • I use this strategy. I do need to pick the work somewhat carefully — if I'm on my laptop doing something for work, my son finds that fascinating (even though it's just lines of code) and therefore distracting. Paying bills, however, he isn't interested in :)
    – Acire
    Sep 4 '15 at 14:23

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