I have been separated from my childrens' father for nearly two years. I have custody of our two children, and he lives in a different city than us. Although it is a long haul for him to get to us, he made the decision to stay where he is, and has made minimal efforts to physically visit his children. Our four year old son has had minimal contact with him since he was 2 years old, and last saw him 1 1/2 years ago. My daughter, who is 9, has a much closer relationship with her father (with phone calls and face-time), but has not seem him in 1 1/2 years either. Their father has made less of an effort to connect with our son than our daughter. Although things are uneasy between myself and my ex-partner, I encourage them to stay in touch him and hope they can maintain a loving relationship with him.
My son is very well connected with me and is always openly loving and affectionate, saying kind words and wanting to be by my side. If it weren't for his older sister having a consistent dialogue about/ with their father, I do not know if my son would even know who he is, or if his father would bother to stay connected with him.
Their father came to visit them this week. I agreed to drop them off with him for a few days. My son seemed somewhat weary about leaving his mommy but I wanted to give them time to bond. My daughter phoned the first night saying she wanted to spend the days with him, but would like to leave at night to sleep at home, while my four year old has insisted on staying with his father. When I have gone to pick her up in the evenings, my four year does not even acknowledge my presence and has no interest in me hugging him or giving him love. He seems totally uninterested that I am there.
I understand he is spending time with his father and is getting undivided love and attention, which I do not oppose, but should I be worried that my son, who typically runs to me with smiles and hugs all day, is suddenly so disconnected after being away from me for a few days?