potty training 3 days method - 22 months old - daycare problems

Question

We started potty training (22 month-old boy) about a week ago using a variation of the 3 day potty training method. He was ok at home: 5 days diaper free, about 1-2 accidents a day. Usually I ask him if he needs to go potty and then he sometimes agrees and may go again in a couple of minutes, because he likes it. He's diaper free at naps and cries hard when I put diapers on him for a bedtime.

So it's not going badly at home, but in daycare he refuses to cooperate.

The problem is that after he had 2 accidents in daycare, they decided to put a diaper on him and continue the training with a diaper. Also, their strategy (to put him on the potty every 30 min) apparently doesn't work for him. He sometimes cries when they try to put him there and lately he has stopped peeing in a potty.

Is it going to work? Should I insist and ask daycare to change their strategy? (not sure if that's possible)

Or should I just accept him being in diapers in the daycare until he moves to the next room - that's in 2 months?

P.S At home we constantly observe him, and notice when he signs or says that he needs to go potty. I'm not sure that at daycare they pay very much attention to him (10 kids in a room, 2 teachers)...

thank you

Answer 1

The childcare has a responsibility to treat your child appropriately and according to your wishes. That said, there may be practical reasons why they need to put him in nappies (hygiene and having to wash the carpets). I've had exactly the same experience with my daughter.

Every 30 minutes seems far too often, and could easily be off-putting to a small child. At his age a child should be able to go a couple of hours between pees. Could you give them a timetable with certain times of day to take him (times when you know he's likely to need to go), so it's less frequent?

If you think the nappies are undermining his potty progress because he knows he can just pee in them, you could consider getting training pants (underpants with an absorbent layer so a small accident won't make a puddle on the carpet, but they feel like normal underwear and feel wet to him when he leaks). That might be a compromise they can accept.

What will the care ratio be in the next room up? They may be even more busy and less able to pay attention to him there.

Edited to add: Have you tried ditching the nappies at night? If he doesn't want them maybe he'll be able to be dry at night, and this will help with consistency.

Answer 2

I've raised three children of my own, and for many years worked in a daycare center. The truth is, that children often behave differently at daycare than at home. There is so much going on at daycare, with all the children and toys, that it's no wonder a child doesn't want to stop to go to the potty every 30 minutes. Daycare do have regularly scheduled bathroom times because of this, and allow children to go when they need to outside of that schedule. At 22 mths, your child is going to be in a potty training stage, but not fully trained. No child is trained until they go by themselves without reminder. I suggest that you continue with your potty training efforts in your home, but when he is at daycare, relax about it. Maybe get Pullups (absorbent disposable underwear) for his daycare time. Ensure that they put him on the toilet every scheduled bathroom time, but otherwise, let him call the shots there. He WILL toilet train. We all do, don't we? Provided we don't have a physical or cognitive condition, of course.