I've got a friend who is asking me for some advice. He does very well. He is 26, owns a house, and has a really good technology career.
However, his dad spent four years trying to find work and ultimately landed a job in the same city as him. His parents and younger brother temporarily moved in with him, although that is never a single guy's dream. The parents tried to sell their house but the escrow devastatingly fell apart the day before closing. Long story short, the buyer made them spend thousands of dollars in minor repairs only to walk away because he could not fund.
It has been nearly three months since they moved in. He lent his parents thousands of dollars to help them with the repairs hoping it would expedite the sale and get everyone to move out. He also flew home three times to help stage the house, then move everything out, and then move everything back in.
His parents, brother, and their dog are all invading his lifestyle. They are short a car so he has to taxi people as well as deal with the clutter and mess of a crowded house.
He is about to lose his mind and says he feels trapped. He says none of this is his problem, although his parents gave everything to pay for his private school tuition growing up. But he did not anticipate helping his parents would turn into a bottomless pit sucking his time, money, energy, and social life.
Finally a cash offer came in for the house. His parents are now looking for a home as escrow nears closing. He is frustrated again because his parents want him to help move a fourth time, but he feels he has done everything he can and just wants his time back. He also is frustrated that his area is the only affordable one, and his parents may move only blocks away. He wants distance and a healthy single life, and worked hard to get distance from his family's drama and chaos. Ironically, his success, resources, and stability has made him the go-to person for every family problem. He'd like to start a family of his own, but his parents and brother are always following him for help.
What can he do as the only stable person with resources in his family, which he is now saying is a curse more than a blessing? Should he go and help them move or has he done enough? Should he be concerned about his parents moving close to him because that is the only area they can afford?
What boundaries need to be established?