My parents are...protective. For context, I was 18 before I was allowed to go to someone else's house without their parents being home, and 12 when I was allowed in the back yard alone.
Unfortunately instead of trying to negotiate boundaries, I responded to this by hiding a lot of what I did from them. I would tell them that a friend's parents were home when they weren't, or, once I got to college, not mention that I'd gone out on a weekend instead of staying in my dorm and studying.
This turned into a pattern of not telling them anything, since I was never sure what would be acceptable. I'm 20 now and would like to break this pattern if I can, but I'm not sure how.
Should I come clean (which is likely to get even more restrictions put on me,) try to negotiate the rules and avoid discussing my prior misdeeds, or continue as I have been until I graduate from college and can live on my own?
To answer some questions: I live in [pretty safe suburb] of [major U.S. city] and am the eldest daughter of a Southeast Asian family. I am currently living with them because it's convenient for my internship this summer (not the best idea I've ever had) but I go back to college in the fall. They are paying for part of my schooling, but I have enough saved up to take over that obligation for my next, which is also my last, year of college.
A complicating factor is that they live about 15 minutes from my school and have shown themselves willing and able to just drop by with little to no notice. I've had some success telling them that "If you don't tell me you're coming at least 12 hours beforehand, I can't promise I'll be available," but this holds less water when it's Saturday morning. I mean, it's perfectly reasonable for them to show up like that, but it makes hiding things from them much more difficult.