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I'm a single mother of 2. My daughter is 13 and my son is 7. My son's father shot himself 2 years ago. That's when things started to change. When his dad was alive, my son never wanted to go to his house. He would scream and cry and latch on to me. So I would keep him with me. I know his dad watched a lot of porn. And I'm wondering if he saw it.

At first I thought, "They're kids, and kids experiment." (I know I did when I was little.) In the past 2 years my niece and my son have been caught together more than a few times, and each time I would talk to them about it.

My son has been caught with his pants down and my 5-year-old niece sucking his penis. I instantly told them to stop. I explained that kids don't do stuff like that. I told them it was disgusting and they should never touch each other again. I talked to my niece about it and she said he told her to do it. It happened a couple other times except it got worse. He tried to stick his penis in her vagina. They are no longer allowed to be around each other. And my son isn't going to be around any other kids until I find out what is going on.

I'm just not sure why this is happening. I'm so scared he's going to be a bad person. I want to help him. When I talk to him about it he says, "I don't know, mom," and then changes the subject.

How can I help my child?

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  • What exactly is the question? You need to specify what sort of answers you want, otherwise we cannot really help.
    – Erik
    Jul 6, 2015 at 5:17
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    Better bring him to a psychiologist or so, as your kid indeed seems quite disturbed. If you fear that he could have seen things he can't handle due to his young age at his father's, I would go finding help to a specialist. I understand how hard it can be to use the correct words in such a situation, but being told sexuality is disgusting isn't going to help him in his future life anyway.
    – Laurent S.
    Jul 6, 2015 at 8:33
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    Full agreement to the psychologist. That way, you can find out what is happening in your sons head, AND a psychologist should be able to talk to your son in the right words without the desperate search of words that your understandable fears must put you into.
    – Layna
    Jul 6, 2015 at 10:40
  • If you are not sure where to go to find a psychologist, your pediatrician might be a good resource, as for any local social services groups. Your profile doesn't say what country you're in; if you feel like sharing that info, we might be able to find some relevant resources to help you in your search.
    – Valkyrie
    Jul 6, 2015 at 10:54

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I'll make an answer out of my remark as it appears to be a reasonable advice...

Better bring him to a psychiologist or so, as your kid indeed seems quite disturbed. If you fear that he could have seen things he can't handle due to his young age at his father's, I would go finding help to a specialist.

I understand how hard it can be to use the correct words in such a situation, but being told sexuality is disgusting isn't going to help him in his future life anyway. You might disturb him even more actually.

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