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I'm a 19-year-old man. I have a job and live with uncle and auntie, because my parents don't live in the country I live in.

I don't plan to quit smoking, at least for now ,because it does have almost the same effect as some medications I would have to take (as it is to calm me down).

Is there a nice way to tell them that I smoke? Or should I wait more?

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    Is it necessary to tell them? Or would it be more sane to casually respond if it ever comes up in conversation - non defensively though. "Do you smoke?" just say "Yeah." - and maybe avoid things like - "Yeah, what's it to you? It's my life. I'm an adult, etc." – Kai Qing Jun 18 '15 at 21:11
  • It's not necessary, but as if it ever come up in a conversation as you said – alexandreferris Jun 18 '15 at 21:49
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    Comments should be used for clarification, Parenting Chat should be used for other information. – Acire Jun 23 '15 at 17:23
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Is there a nice way to tell them?

I'm not quite sure I know what you mean by "a nice way". If you mean, a way that they won't be upset or won't cause a scene, you might try taking them out to dinner at a very nice restaurant and breaking the news to them there after a couple glasses of fine wine. That will probably force them to keep their voices down.

If they accuse you of being too young, you can point out that you've just taken them to a very nice restaurant, for which you're footing the bill, and therefore, if you're old enough to earn money and take them out, you're old enough to decide if you want to smoke or not.

If they accuse you of poor decision making, you can point out that you've just taken them to a very nice restaurant, and if you can pick out a nice restaurant without their help, you can also make a decision about which vices to embrace without their help.

If they criticize you for profligate spending on an unhealthy habit, you can point out that you've just taken them to a very nice restaurant, for which you're footing the bill, and that they've just had expensive wine, and if you're old enough to earn money and they don't mind drinking wine which costs a lot of money, then you have enough money to spend on cigarettes, and throw in the wine as a costly vice, too.

If you mean, a way that will make them happy, I would suggest that you find good studies showing evidence that smoking is good for you, will make you less prone to joblessness, depression, and will help you find a good husband/wife/partner; parents are notoriously in favor of good habits, work ethics, good mental health and good marriages.

If you can't find such studies, I might suggest waiting to tell them until you land the perfect job and spouse; then announce your job, introduce your spouse, and light a cigarette. They can hardly complain when you've given them such good news.

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    oh my god. can't say more. wonderful, spectacular !!! – alexandreferris Jun 19 '15 at 2:47
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    I like your style, would definitely start smoking just to have wine with you and tell you about it. – daraos Sep 10 '16 at 8:50
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I suggest not to tell them that you smoke. Instead, When you decide to quit smoking tell everyone around you including your parents that you are going to give up smoking on so and so date. That will put some positive pressure on you to in giving up the habit and it will also make them happy that have made a healthy decision and will support you in every way possible.

You might feel that they will appreciate you by telling them truth but it might not be the case. To make them happy tell them you are quitting smoking or quit smoking and don't tell them at all. I never told my parents that I smoked but somehow they found out but they were happy to learn that I no longer smoke.

  • Thats awesome to hear. And well, I don't plan to quit smoking, at least for now because it does almost the same effect as some medications I would have to take. (as it is to calm me down) But sure, I also don't plan to tell them really soon. Thank you for your support – alexandreferris Jun 19 '15 at 2:44
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    Your comment makes me ask - are we talking about smoking tobacco, or some other substance? – PoloHoleSet Sep 13 '16 at 14:11

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